Clueless

This post is going to be short and sweet as I only have an hour and a half until I need to be lining up for a certain vampiric teen phenomenon of a movie and my flight for Winnipeg leaves in just over twelve hours but I haven't even thought about what I'm going to pack, never mind actually started packing.

But when I say short and sweet, I mean it. Emphasis on the sweet.

Soo, that's a half-eaten birthday cake - and here comes the story!

As some (all) of you may (should) know, my birthday's coming up this Monday. Being the type who doesn't really acknowledge the idea of growing older, it keeps slipping my mind. Like, yesterday for example. All my co-workers were talking about cake. Did I clue in? Not at all. So today when I'm told to come into the lunch room even though I'm covering the office lunch-hour, I still don't suspect a thing. When everyone starts singing 'Happy Birthday' I'm about to join in until I look at the cake. And then my face goes bright red. Because I was totally surprised and a little embarrassed but mostly .... well, the only way I can describe it is - warm and fuzzy all over.

Tomorrow my week will get even better when I embark on an adventure to Winnipeg to see my long lost friend Becky :D

For someone who doesn't like birthdays, the days leading up to mine may end up changing my opinion.

Anyway, I need to go pack right now. Also, my dad is trying to get me to figure out how to print off my boarding pass. Eek.

Keep it real!

Chit Chat

It's Wednesday - I feel like I should write a new blog post.

The thing is, I don't actually know what to talk about and I'm not the type of person who enjoys rambling on about nothing. This post already sounds doomed.

Well, today I had a nice long chat with my Grosspapa (that's German for grandfather). We just discussed life and all that exists within each of ours. It was a good chat. I like talking to people who've experienced a lot during their lifetime. Wanna know something he mentioned that blew me away? Well - he said a lot of things that could fit under that category, but one thing in particular made me think a little.

We were talking for a brief second and a half about thunderstorms - we both like them which is cool.

"In the old days, during the war, when there was a thunderstorm it meant there would be no bombs dropped by airplanes."

Um... talk about a whole different world. How weird is that? These days when there are thunderstorms kids go running to their parents or hide under their beds. Back then, thunderstorms meant peace and safety! It's so hard to imagine living through something like that.

I don't think I'll be able to experience a thunderstorm again without being reminded of what my Grosspapa said today.

My day was hardly eventful, but it was still great. I like hearing other people's perspectives on the world...

...I think that's all I've got to say for now.

I guess I'll get back to writing and editing some more of my novel. It was kinda funny in that pathetic kind of way - today I was supposed to write more but after hours of 'working on my book' all I had added was two words: 'he sighed'. Luckily once evening hit, I picked up the pace a little. I'll try to keep it up for a little while longer. I work tomorrow after all.

Keep it real!

there's homesick and lovesick; do you think there's stagesick?

I should be in bed right now; I'm planning on biking to work tomorrow, but I had to write this down before falling asleep.

I just came back from watching the A-Team. I loved it, I don't know what you're into, so I don't know if you'll love it, but I did. I'm a huge fan of Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper is always funny and action movies are the greatest so those were the components that went into my thinking before I bought a ticket.

Sharlto Copley: not part of what had originally made me want to see the A-Team.

He's new in Hollywood. If you saw District 9 (I didn't), he's the main character apparently. But seeing as I haven't seen District 9 yet (I don't know what's wrong with me), this was the first movie I'd ever seen him in. In my books, he stole the show. Which is totally weird 'cause I went to the movie as a Liam Neeson and Bradley Cooper fan. The first time I saw the poster I actually thought to myself, "Why'd they get some no name to star as Murdock? He's going to be totally outdone by Neeson anyway."

I'll be the first to admit how wrong I was and how right Copley was for this part. He was fantastic. But enough about his performance, I wanna talk briefly about the ridiculous temper tantrum I was having in my head every time I watched a scene he was in. Watching Copley on the big screen made me soooo stagesick. Yeah, I just made up a word - deal with it. Ha! You know, homesick - you miss home; lovesick - you miss your 'love'; stagesick - you miss the stage (or the screen - both for me). Man, I wish I could explain this right, but it would take so many words to do my one feeling any justice. Copley looked like he was having fun. He looks like the kind of guy who just immensely enjoys what he gets to do for a living. He looked the way I feel when I do improv. Oh man, it was just so refreshing, yet so hard to watch at the same time. Only because I was in the audience instead of joining in the fun of performing along side him. And yeah, I know I'm doing this to myself - I've taken a year off to discover other passions of mine - but I can't help but feel stagesick when I see a movie that looked like it was a blast to be a part of.

Call me crazy, but I think this is a good thing, even though stagesickness is a tough thing to go through and I could just sign up for a Second City class right now and cure everything. I kinda want to let myself revel in this feeling a little while longer. Hopefully it'll make me that much more excited to be on a stage again when I get back into the acting groove. Hopefully I won't lose my improvisation skills just because I haven't used them in a performance environment (that's something I keep worrying about - that I'll forget how to improv). Hopefully this experiment of just living my life as a regular student will give me more experiences to draw on and eventually make me a better actor.

Hopefully.

Until then I think I'll just have to press through the stagesickness. It's funny, since 'giving up' acting, I've become a lot louder. Not just volume-wise, but as a person in general. It's like I'm compensating. I used to use the stage as a place where I could channel things normal life didn't allow. But now there's no more stage, so normal life's just going to have to deal with it. It's pretty fun. I might be becoming a little eccentric... :D

Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say, when you boil everything down, is that as fun as being a writer is (and it's pretty fun - I get to spend lots of time in imaginary worlds - it's like I'm seven all over again), I don't think I'm ever going to get over this acting bug that's been in my system since I was, like, five. I still have six months left of 'experiment' before I consider signing on with an agent again and right now six months feels like forever. Come January I'll be itching to get on a stage or in front of a camera (or behind one - I want to give directing a shot one of these days). I can't wait. Literally. I can't. But I'll try.

So clearly, the moral of this story is: go see the A-Team and also, sometimes it takes a break from something to realize how much you really love it.

I'm going to go to sleep now. I can't believe I'm going to bike to work tomorrow. I think I'm losing it.

Keep it real!!

This Weekend:

I might be a little too excited... but I can't wait to see this!! Sometime this weekend... :D

Keep it real!

Do What You Love

You know that phrase "do what you love"? I say it all the time. Because I believe it 100% - I think everyone should know how it feels to get paid for doing something you love to do. Personally, I have only had a few tastes (if you could call them that) of doing something I love and getting paid for it but, as of yet, my best experiences haven't included paychecks.

A friend of mine was telling me about her new job the other day. It's a dream job to both of us so I'm glad one of us has it. She works as a drama instructor for elementary school kids who take field trips to her university. It pretty much sounds like the greatest job of all time (at least, it does to me). So while she was talking about it I couldn't help but think about my summer job. You know: doctors office, scrubs everyday, filing, making phones calls, angry patients... zero games of freeze... that's what my job entails. ...Yes, if you're thinking you may be detecting some bitterness - you're right on the money.

BUT today I saw my life from a different perspective. Sure, I'm away from my house for 8 hours a day so I have very little time to write; sure, I don't get to do a single thing I dreamed of doing since I was 4 and a half when I'm on the clock; but I get to work with a whole bunch of really incredible people. My office is almost like a family; almost.

Today when I was flipping through the fiftieth chart of the day, knowing that I had at least four times as many left than I had already gone through, I had a lot of time to think. Flipping through a chart, looking for a certain sheet of paper doesn't require that much thinking, so obviously my thoughts were far away. While I was deep in thought it occurred to me that I'm still a student and this is just my summer job. Not only that, but this summer job fell into my lap without me lifting a finger - and it was right when I really needed the money. That kind of thing isn't a coincidence. It's beyond obvious that there's someone up there looking out for me. So the fact that I'm just a 21 (almost 22) year old student who's biggest worry right now is tuition means that I've still got plenty of time to find a job doing something I love, but for now sticking with what I've got - what I've been blessed with - isn't such a bad idea.

I'd like to think I'm original, but it's entirely possible that this phrase already exists (even if it does, though, I'm still sticking to my story that I made it up):  

If you can't do what you love - love what you do.

Yeah, some people might take it the wrong way and think that you should just never strive to do what you love, but that's not what I mean by my statement. I just mean find stuff about what you're doing that you can love until you reach that place where you're ready and able to do what you love and do it well. I don't think I'm there yet because I know that when I'm ready for it, it'll happen. Clearly there's a lot of hard work involved, but at the same time I'm a firm believer that "whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly." (Just because Avril Lavigne sang that lyric in one of her songs, doesn't make it any less true).

So what do I love about what I'm doing right now? I love that I have a stable job; I know it's not going anywhere and that is such a great thing to know - very relieving. I love that the people I work with are some of the greatest people you could ever meet. Today my office manager helped me figure out a way to work at my church's daycamp twice a week for the whole month of July. I LOVE daycamp. I'm so glad that I can volunteer there and still not have to worry about money. I love that even though the things I'm doing are boring to the naked eye, it gives me so much time to think. I never come home without a few new ideas for a story I'm working on or a story I'd like to start. I love that I get to joke around and be myself at work; I love that I work in an environment where people genuinely care about my well-being even though there may not be anything in it for them; I love working with such generous co-workers, I love weekends and how special they are when I've had a long week.

There's a lot I love about what I'm doing right now. Yeah, I'm still hoping to do something more with my life than just work in a doctors office, but right now it's clear this is where I'm supposed to be. If for no other reason, it's definitely playing a part in shaping my personality, my goals and my work ethic. And sometimes I even have fun. (But don't tell anyone).

:)

Keep it real!