A Million Miles in a Thousand Years

I bought a new book about an hour ago and then I was supposed to go shopping with my siblings but I was kicked out of the car because I was weighing everyone down with my busy schedule. They weren't going to get enough shopping fit in if I was with them, so I was sent home; voted off the island. Oh the joys of family life.

Anyway, I decided to make the most of my situation and start reading this new book of mine until I had to leave for my evening plans that made everyone else's lives so difficult. The book is called 'A Million Miles in a Thousand Years' (suggested read from Becky). I read the first chapter and for some reason I'm both enticed by the author's ideas but also repulsed. It's a weird balance at the moment - I'm not sure which way it'll tip by the time I've finished reading the book.

The author's name is Donald Miller and he's a Christian. He has some kinda strange worldviews though that are clashing a bit with my current ones. Let me give you a brief example... (keep in mind, I've only just finished chapter one):

Donald begins by introducing us to a friend of his named Bob, who writes down everything he's experienced in his life that he can remember. He "captures memories."

Excerpt from Chapter One "Random Scenes":

"I remembered getting a merit badge in Cub Scouts when I was seven, but that's all I could remember. I got it for helping a neighbor cut down a tree. I'll tell that to God when he asks what I did with my life. I'll tell him I cut down a tree and got a badge for it. He'll most likely want to see the merit badge, but I lost it years ago, so when I'm done with my story, God will probably sit there looking at me, wondering what to talk about next. God and Bob will probably talk for days."

The chapter ends with this thought:

Donald wonders if maybe one day we'll get to Heaven "and we'll sit and tell [God] our stories, and he'll smile and tell us what they mean. I just hope I have something interesting to say."

So I don't want to make any quick judgments. The first chapter has theories and ideas I agree with as well as some I disagree with, but here's what I'm thinking so far. It's just my opinion - Donald published his.

I don't think will God actually care if we've got something interesting to say or not. I think He loves us regardless. I think who we are (our personality, our strengths and weaknesses, our capacity to love and be loved) is more important than what we do (the interesting adventures we find ourselves in on earth). Although what we do shapes who we are and vice versa.

I'm all for having an adventurous life and living a unique story; and I'm definitely going to read on to see what exactly Donald Miller is talking about, but as far as God is concerned - one day when I walk through the pearly gates, I'll be perfectly content to just sit with God for days on end without exchanging a single word. He's far more interesting than I could ever be. Having Him in my life supplies enough adventure for me.

Anywho, that's all I wanted to get off my chest for now. I'll get back to reading.

Keep it real!

On My Night Table

I thought I'd do something a little different today. I was listening to some video blogs and discovered many fun blogging ideas, including the actual idea of video blogging itself. But that's a leap and I'm more comfortable with baby steps.

Basically, with this post I plan to tell you about the books on my night table. I JUST took the photo above about 2 minutes ago so those really are the books currently on my night table. Albeit, it's usually not that neat, but sometimes I tidy up a little. For you.

Let's go from bottom to top, shall we?

Audition. By Michael Shurtleff.

I've read this book at least three or four times now - unfortunately the last time I read it had to be almost a year ago. I still pick it up and read the odd few pages now and then, but I haven't read it all the way through in quite some time. I believe it was the first 'acting book' I'd ever read so it holds a special place in my heart :)

The front cover brags that the book "reveals everything an actor needs to know to get the part" and I tend to agree. It was definitely an eye opener the first time I read it and I always find myself going back to it when I need quick advice.

My recommendation: every actor should read it.

How to Stop Acting. By Harold Guskin.

Okay, here comes a confession... I bought this book at least a year ago and have read the first three chapters numerous times but still haven't actually read it all the way through. How will I ever learn to stop acting at this rate?! But seriously, what I've read so far has been really integral to the way I view acting. Ever since I learned a long time ago that acting isn't actually acting, I've been getting in arguments with people all over. Someone will say something like, "yeah, but acting is about being a good liar" or something equally ridiculous and then I'll go on a forty minute rant about how the exact opposite is true. I know this book is for me but I just haven't sunk my teeth into it yet. I will soon.

My recommendation: anyone interested in finding out the truths behind what makes a good actor should probably read this, but I can't say anything for certain since I have yet to finish it. :s

How I Write. By Janet Evanovich.

Have you noticed a pattern yet? I seem to really dig 'How To' books. That being said, I stumbled upon this book in a book shop bargain bin. It was two dollars. I had to buy it. And it's been a big help. Janet just tells other writers what's worked for her and expects them to do whatever they want with the information. Some of it has worked for me, some of it hasn't. It's definitely made me a more self-conscious writer. And there's a big section on how to go about publishing your book, so that's been a life saver.

My recommendation: if you're a writer, getting this book can't hurt. Especially if you get such a great deal like I did.

The Two Towers. By J.R.R. Tolkien.

I'm only halfway through and I stopped mid-battle which is really strange but for some reason I haven't felt motivated to pick it back up again and it's going on a couple months now. I think Tolkien writes amazing adventure stories and knows how to write a good character. Reading the first half of his trilogy lead to giving me an idea for a new book of my own... But I think it can get a little wearisome if you're someone who likes to watch an action sequence instead of read one. 

My recommendation: don't watch the movies first - you'll get a bias that will affect the way you read. I unfortunately watched before I read and now I find myself comparing not only Peter Jackson's overall vision, but each actors' character choices to that of Tolkien's original intentions and story lines and it makes everything more difficult. Also, if you do decide to read the trilogy, don't let the hobbit stuff at the beginning of 'The Fellowship of the Ring' get you down. It didn't bother me, but apparently some people can't handle it. Just know, there's a light at the end of the tunnel!

My Personal Journal. By Me.

No one's allowed to read it until I'm dead. But while we're on the topic of journals, may I suggest that if you've never kept a journal before, try it. Who cares if you aren't an avid writer; I like the idea of recording the events of my life - everyone has a story and I want mine written down so I won't forget it. It's also a great way to figure out why something's bugging you or what to do next in life... or anything really. I find writing things down always helps me feel a little better.

My recommendation: don't read mine - write your own! :)

For Your Joy. By John Piper.  

I don't remember where I got it, but it's an easy read! It's some kind of 'new Christian FAQ' book. I flipped through it but it was mostly things I learned about in Sunday School as a kid. Still, if you've never been to Sunday School, who knows? This book might be for you! I've got a copy if you want one!

My recommendation: I don't know where to get it, but if you want my copy, it's yours!

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. By Stieg Larsson.

My mom just bought this book over the weekend and I started reading it today on my bus ride to work. I've finished the first chapter and despite the fact that I haven't been introduced to the title character yet and there's a little bit of business stuff it's hard to wrap my head around, I'm really liking it so far. I like the author's tone and I was told by someone that the book was translated into English - you can tell at times, but the writing still makes for a pleasant read. The author has a cool way of giving the reader information... I find myself eager to find out what will happen next and how all of the seemingly random information will continue to come together.

My recommendation: if you like the idea of CSI in book form and with a writer who actually has talent, this book is probably for you. Again, I'm only 43 pages in, so this could take a turn for the worst. I'll just have to read on to find out.

My Bible. By God.

Haha, that's fun to write. It's on my night stand so I had to mention it. For the past few months I've been reading through the New Testament - one chapter a night. I've skipped nights here and there or read more than one chapter a night but tonight I'll be reading 1 John 4. Therefore it would follow logic to say that last night I read 1 John 3. My favorite verse of last night stuck in my head all day: 

1 John 3:18 Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.

My recommendation: I guess as far as reading patterns go, do whatever works for you - but I definitely recommend reading this one. You can talk to God all you want, but sometimes it's really good to just listen to what He wants to say to you.

Australian and New Zealand Accents for Actors. By Gillian Lane-Plescia.

It's a pamphlet/book that was under my Bible and I read it so I guess I should mention it. The book comes with a CD that is really good. Sometimes I listen to it at night so that Aussies will talk to me in my sleep and I'll absorb their accent. That was probably too much weird information, but oh well...

My recommendation: you could get it if you wanted. Or you could just go to Australia. I'd recommend the latter option. 

Alright, I've talked enough for about two months worth of blogs, I think I'll let you go. I have to go do some laundry anyway. Hope you enjoyed my experiment. Should I do it again? I don't know... It'll probably be a few months before my night table looks a little different anyway, so I guess we'll see how everyone feels then. 

Keep it real!

decisions, decisions

I think I've come to the decision to repaint and redecorate my room. Maybe...

It took me so long to make it what it is today and I feel like it completely captures my zany, obsessive personality, so I'm a little hesitant to actually go through with a 'remodel'.

What brought on this idea, you ask? Actually, I think it was my birthday that did it. You see, I've recently turned 22. Very recently. And I know I don't act my age - I still live at home, I've never been in a serious relationship, I'm still in school... the list goes on and on. So I'm thinking maybe it's time that something reflected my age?

I know it could be considered weird to put up pictures of my room on my blog, but if I end up going through with this redesign thing, then you'll need some 'before' pictures in order to really appreciate the 'after'. Also, it's just pictures of my walls - nothing else.

Here's the short tour:

Okay, so to the naked eye, you may just notice a whole bunch of guys on my wall, but there are at least an equal amount of movie posters to guy ratio - and there are some smaller pictures of me and my friends scattered around. But hey! What do you expect? I like being surrounded by things that I like - aka movies and, yeah, good looking actors of the male gender. Also my friends.

I think it's more the effort I put into it than the actual product that is my room in its current state, but I'm really attached to something. I have no idea where to go from here. Posters are very '13 year old girl', especially in my particular case. I'm sure Robert Downey Jr would not appreciate how much his face is littering my walls... But what do I do?

If I made my room 'classy' that wouldn't suit me at all. I wouldn't feel comfortable despite the fact that I'd like how it looked. If I took down half the posters it would still look just as tacky.

It's an 'all or nothing' situation.

Ugh! I hate those!

I also need to do a major purge of stuff. I have too much and I barely use any of it.

Boo. I wish I could make a decision. I guess I did only just think up this idea within the last couple days. I can afford to sleep on it for a few more nights... I'm sorry you had to see my cluttered walls. Maybe one day I'll really grow up... for real. I can't say that I'm actually looking forward to it though :s

I'll bug you again later. Until then,

Keep it real!

Clueless

This post is going to be short and sweet as I only have an hour and a half until I need to be lining up for a certain vampiric teen phenomenon of a movie and my flight for Winnipeg leaves in just over twelve hours but I haven't even thought about what I'm going to pack, never mind actually started packing.

But when I say short and sweet, I mean it. Emphasis on the sweet.

Soo, that's a half-eaten birthday cake - and here comes the story!

As some (all) of you may (should) know, my birthday's coming up this Monday. Being the type who doesn't really acknowledge the idea of growing older, it keeps slipping my mind. Like, yesterday for example. All my co-workers were talking about cake. Did I clue in? Not at all. So today when I'm told to come into the lunch room even though I'm covering the office lunch-hour, I still don't suspect a thing. When everyone starts singing 'Happy Birthday' I'm about to join in until I look at the cake. And then my face goes bright red. Because I was totally surprised and a little embarrassed but mostly .... well, the only way I can describe it is - warm and fuzzy all over.

Tomorrow my week will get even better when I embark on an adventure to Winnipeg to see my long lost friend Becky :D

For someone who doesn't like birthdays, the days leading up to mine may end up changing my opinion.

Anyway, I need to go pack right now. Also, my dad is trying to get me to figure out how to print off my boarding pass. Eek.

Keep it real!

Chit Chat

It's Wednesday - I feel like I should write a new blog post.

The thing is, I don't actually know what to talk about and I'm not the type of person who enjoys rambling on about nothing. This post already sounds doomed.

Well, today I had a nice long chat with my Grosspapa (that's German for grandfather). We just discussed life and all that exists within each of ours. It was a good chat. I like talking to people who've experienced a lot during their lifetime. Wanna know something he mentioned that blew me away? Well - he said a lot of things that could fit under that category, but one thing in particular made me think a little.

We were talking for a brief second and a half about thunderstorms - we both like them which is cool.

"In the old days, during the war, when there was a thunderstorm it meant there would be no bombs dropped by airplanes."

Um... talk about a whole different world. How weird is that? These days when there are thunderstorms kids go running to their parents or hide under their beds. Back then, thunderstorms meant peace and safety! It's so hard to imagine living through something like that.

I don't think I'll be able to experience a thunderstorm again without being reminded of what my Grosspapa said today.

My day was hardly eventful, but it was still great. I like hearing other people's perspectives on the world...

...I think that's all I've got to say for now.

I guess I'll get back to writing and editing some more of my novel. It was kinda funny in that pathetic kind of way - today I was supposed to write more but after hours of 'working on my book' all I had added was two words: 'he sighed'. Luckily once evening hit, I picked up the pace a little. I'll try to keep it up for a little while longer. I work tomorrow after all.

Keep it real!

there's homesick and lovesick; do you think there's stagesick?

I should be in bed right now; I'm planning on biking to work tomorrow, but I had to write this down before falling asleep.

I just came back from watching the A-Team. I loved it, I don't know what you're into, so I don't know if you'll love it, but I did. I'm a huge fan of Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper is always funny and action movies are the greatest so those were the components that went into my thinking before I bought a ticket.

Sharlto Copley: not part of what had originally made me want to see the A-Team.

He's new in Hollywood. If you saw District 9 (I didn't), he's the main character apparently. But seeing as I haven't seen District 9 yet (I don't know what's wrong with me), this was the first movie I'd ever seen him in. In my books, he stole the show. Which is totally weird 'cause I went to the movie as a Liam Neeson and Bradley Cooper fan. The first time I saw the poster I actually thought to myself, "Why'd they get some no name to star as Murdock? He's going to be totally outdone by Neeson anyway."

I'll be the first to admit how wrong I was and how right Copley was for this part. He was fantastic. But enough about his performance, I wanna talk briefly about the ridiculous temper tantrum I was having in my head every time I watched a scene he was in. Watching Copley on the big screen made me soooo stagesick. Yeah, I just made up a word - deal with it. Ha! You know, homesick - you miss home; lovesick - you miss your 'love'; stagesick - you miss the stage (or the screen - both for me). Man, I wish I could explain this right, but it would take so many words to do my one feeling any justice. Copley looked like he was having fun. He looks like the kind of guy who just immensely enjoys what he gets to do for a living. He looked the way I feel when I do improv. Oh man, it was just so refreshing, yet so hard to watch at the same time. Only because I was in the audience instead of joining in the fun of performing along side him. And yeah, I know I'm doing this to myself - I've taken a year off to discover other passions of mine - but I can't help but feel stagesick when I see a movie that looked like it was a blast to be a part of.

Call me crazy, but I think this is a good thing, even though stagesickness is a tough thing to go through and I could just sign up for a Second City class right now and cure everything. I kinda want to let myself revel in this feeling a little while longer. Hopefully it'll make me that much more excited to be on a stage again when I get back into the acting groove. Hopefully I won't lose my improvisation skills just because I haven't used them in a performance environment (that's something I keep worrying about - that I'll forget how to improv). Hopefully this experiment of just living my life as a regular student will give me more experiences to draw on and eventually make me a better actor.

Hopefully.

Until then I think I'll just have to press through the stagesickness. It's funny, since 'giving up' acting, I've become a lot louder. Not just volume-wise, but as a person in general. It's like I'm compensating. I used to use the stage as a place where I could channel things normal life didn't allow. But now there's no more stage, so normal life's just going to have to deal with it. It's pretty fun. I might be becoming a little eccentric... :D

Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say, when you boil everything down, is that as fun as being a writer is (and it's pretty fun - I get to spend lots of time in imaginary worlds - it's like I'm seven all over again), I don't think I'm ever going to get over this acting bug that's been in my system since I was, like, five. I still have six months left of 'experiment' before I consider signing on with an agent again and right now six months feels like forever. Come January I'll be itching to get on a stage or in front of a camera (or behind one - I want to give directing a shot one of these days). I can't wait. Literally. I can't. But I'll try.

So clearly, the moral of this story is: go see the A-Team and also, sometimes it takes a break from something to realize how much you really love it.

I'm going to go to sleep now. I can't believe I'm going to bike to work tomorrow. I think I'm losing it.

Keep it real!!

This Weekend:

I might be a little too excited... but I can't wait to see this!! Sometime this weekend... :D

Keep it real!

Do What You Love

You know that phrase "do what you love"? I say it all the time. Because I believe it 100% - I think everyone should know how it feels to get paid for doing something you love to do. Personally, I have only had a few tastes (if you could call them that) of doing something I love and getting paid for it but, as of yet, my best experiences haven't included paychecks.

A friend of mine was telling me about her new job the other day. It's a dream job to both of us so I'm glad one of us has it. She works as a drama instructor for elementary school kids who take field trips to her university. It pretty much sounds like the greatest job of all time (at least, it does to me). So while she was talking about it I couldn't help but think about my summer job. You know: doctors office, scrubs everyday, filing, making phones calls, angry patients... zero games of freeze... that's what my job entails. ...Yes, if you're thinking you may be detecting some bitterness - you're right on the money.

BUT today I saw my life from a different perspective. Sure, I'm away from my house for 8 hours a day so I have very little time to write; sure, I don't get to do a single thing I dreamed of doing since I was 4 and a half when I'm on the clock; but I get to work with a whole bunch of really incredible people. My office is almost like a family; almost.

Today when I was flipping through the fiftieth chart of the day, knowing that I had at least four times as many left than I had already gone through, I had a lot of time to think. Flipping through a chart, looking for a certain sheet of paper doesn't require that much thinking, so obviously my thoughts were far away. While I was deep in thought it occurred to me that I'm still a student and this is just my summer job. Not only that, but this summer job fell into my lap without me lifting a finger - and it was right when I really needed the money. That kind of thing isn't a coincidence. It's beyond obvious that there's someone up there looking out for me. So the fact that I'm just a 21 (almost 22) year old student who's biggest worry right now is tuition means that I've still got plenty of time to find a job doing something I love, but for now sticking with what I've got - what I've been blessed with - isn't such a bad idea.

I'd like to think I'm original, but it's entirely possible that this phrase already exists (even if it does, though, I'm still sticking to my story that I made it up):  

If you can't do what you love - love what you do.

Yeah, some people might take it the wrong way and think that you should just never strive to do what you love, but that's not what I mean by my statement. I just mean find stuff about what you're doing that you can love until you reach that place where you're ready and able to do what you love and do it well. I don't think I'm there yet because I know that when I'm ready for it, it'll happen. Clearly there's a lot of hard work involved, but at the same time I'm a firm believer that "whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly." (Just because Avril Lavigne sang that lyric in one of her songs, doesn't make it any less true).

So what do I love about what I'm doing right now? I love that I have a stable job; I know it's not going anywhere and that is such a great thing to know - very relieving. I love that the people I work with are some of the greatest people you could ever meet. Today my office manager helped me figure out a way to work at my church's daycamp twice a week for the whole month of July. I LOVE daycamp. I'm so glad that I can volunteer there and still not have to worry about money. I love that even though the things I'm doing are boring to the naked eye, it gives me so much time to think. I never come home without a few new ideas for a story I'm working on or a story I'd like to start. I love that I get to joke around and be myself at work; I love that I work in an environment where people genuinely care about my well-being even though there may not be anything in it for them; I love working with such generous co-workers, I love weekends and how special they are when I've had a long week.

There's a lot I love about what I'm doing right now. Yeah, I'm still hoping to do something more with my life than just work in a doctors office, but right now it's clear this is where I'm supposed to be. If for no other reason, it's definitely playing a part in shaping my personality, my goals and my work ethic. And sometimes I even have fun. (But don't tell anyone).

:)

Keep it real!