whaaaat??!

For years now - decades even - I've been convinced I couldn't cook. I've bragged about it, complained about it, even blogged about it!

But today I made a discovery that I may forever refer to as life changing.

I can cook.

All these years I thought it was me. It turns out all I needed was new cookware!!

I'm sure none of you believe me. I mean, you've all heard the horror stories - or worse - tasted them. The last time I tried to make an omlette, it ended up looking like this:

Not exactly appetizing, I know. It looks a heck of a lot like messed up scrambled eggs.

But yesterday my friend and I were hanging out and she was giving me some healthy tips (since I'm such a health nut now - and getting nuttier by the day) and one of said tips was to eat protein before bed. Not right before bed, 'cause that's just gross - and counterproductive. But protein in your last meal of the day is apparently a good thing. More specifically, egg whites.

And here's something you might not know about me. I love egg white omlettes. Spinach and cheddar egg white omlettes. But I can only ever get those when I go out for breakfast (which is almost never). Because I didn't think I could cook, remember?

Anyway, skip ahead 24 hours to 8pm this evening when I was digging around my kitchen looking for the rumoured non-stick pan my mother keeps someplace hidden. Due to my awesome sleuthing skills, I found the non-stick pan and poured my concoction of egg whites (which you can apparently buy in supermarkets!! who knew??!) and cheddar (my fridge was all out of spinach and I'd already spent my life savings on the egg whites - I'm a student, what do you expect?) into the pan and stared at it.

I stared at it for a good five minutes. Worrying the whole time that it would burst into flames.

It didn't though.

Eventually my weird, slimy mixture started turning white. Another five minutes and it was almost completely solid.

And here comes the best part!!

Once the entire top of my omlette-to-be had solidified, I started carefully poking at the edges, making sure if I were to flip it, it wouldn't fall apart on me (like every other time I've tried to make an omlette). I then placed my flipper (I may be able to cook, but you can't expect me to know the lingo!) under my eggs and turned it over and it stayed together!!

Long story short - take a look at the final product:

I made that. I made that. I know, it's hard to believe. In fact, many of you may think I'm not telling the truth because of the stark difference between what I ate for dinner tonight and that previous picture of a more pathetic dinner I ate a few months ago. But alas, it's true. I made that glorious looking (and even better tasting) omlette.

Larissa Benfey can cook.

Dude, now I'm beyond convinced that literally anything is possible.

Keep it real!!

Write write!! Right?

There's nothing like a writing workshop to get you inspired to pick up that pen and paper (or in my case, computer) again. Don't get me wrong - I've been feeling mighty inspired lately anyway; in fact I find myself almost desperate for the chance to just sit down at my computer and write in longer than four minute increments... But today I went to a writing workshop that made me more than inspired. I think I'm actually feeling pretty optimistic.

The workshop was called "How to Write a Bestseller" and I learned a lot of really valuable information, met a best selling author and signed up for a creative writing class that'll take place in the fall - but none of those things were what really stuck with me.

What I really loved about today was something that happened during a writing exercise. We were given some pretty vague instructions on what our final product needed to accomplish and then were told to just start writing. So I looked around the room, trying to figure out what to write about. I kept thinking, it has to be something gripping, something people will want to read. Murder, mayhem, love... But I kept defaulting to ideas I'm already working on. And I couldn't do that. I knew I needed to make up something new. And suddenly a first line popped into my head. It had nothing to do with vampires, crimelords or valiant heroines... it had to do with a pen. A guy clicking a pen, to be precise. As soon as the first line appeared on the page, it's like everything else just spilled out until I found myself staring at almost two pages of writing.

I love writing exercises for this very reason. You think you've got nothing and then suddenly... you've got an entire scene playing out before your eyes that never used to exist.

Later on, we were asked to read our short scenes aloud to the rest of our table-mates. So I listened to the first lady read her work and it was pretty dern good. I looked down at my sheet and thought, my work is so juvenile next to hers. But it was my turn to read, so I did. And as I read I realized how different my 'voice' was than the lady next to me. Not better or worse - just different. And I think different just might work for me.

I keep reading all these books and try to emulate the way other writers write, but I think it's time to just accept my own style and move on. So I'm not the greatest writer of description - who cares? For some reason I seem to do the whole 'inside the character's head' thing to an extreme degree and focus almost completely on only the present circumstances said character is facing... and maybe nothing's wrong with that.

Of course, publication would really cement these wacky theories of mine - the whole 'my style is my style so just deal with it, world' theory, that is. But what can you do?

Oh yeah. Write. That's what I could do. People aren't too keen on publishing blank pages... so maybe I should hop to it, now that I'm done my random update/rant post.

I'd say 'keep it real!', but I'm actually going to end my post with that scene I wrote today. I'm kinda nervous about sharing it with a bigger audience than just my table-mates, but if I want to be a published author, I should probably get used to a couple more people seeing my work.

So... here it is. (Oh, and keep in mind, it's just supposed to be a scene, not a story...)

   He'd been clicking his pen for seven minutes now. Was is pathetic that I knew that? That I was keeping track? Well, what else was I supposed to do? I couldn't concentrate on anything else but that infernal clicking.
   He knew this was a library, right? I mean, he didn't look like the type to frequent libraries, but everyone had to know that libraries are meant to be quiet - noise-free.
   I glanced up at him again from my spot two tables away. His head was buried in a book; blond, shaggy hair falling into his face. You'd think he was sleeping if it wasn't for the small movement his thumb was making every two and a half seconds. Click... click.. click.
   Okay, I was seriously going to have a mental breakdown if this continued any longer.
   I pushed against my table to slide my chair back, but the legs of it must have caught on something because before I knew it, I was losing my balance and toppling to the floor -- making a hell of a lot more noise than his stupid clicking pen.
   My cheeks were already burning as I glanced around to see if anyone had noticed. Of course everyone's eyes were on me. The librarian at the front desk seemed to look as though she couldn't figure out whether to shush me or come see if I needed help. I'd much prefer the shush. I didn't want to endure further humiliation by suffering through any "are you okay"s.
   "Graceful," a voice suddenly scoffed from behind me and I felt hands being slid under my armpits. I was being hoisted to my feet before I had a chance to even wrench my neck around to see my unwanted rescuer.
   "Thanks, but I didn't need--" I said, turning to face -- Pen Clicker?! He was picking up the fallen chair now so I could only see the sandy mop on top of his head, but it was definitely him - one quick glance at his now unoccupied table confirmed it. I hadn't thought my cheeks could get any hotter, but they suddenly went nuclear.
   He straightened back up as he set my chair in its place. His pale green eyes were taking in my expression as a smile spread across his face.
   I cleared my throat.
   "--I didn't need help up."
   "Right. Because you did such a good job getting out of your seat the first time," he said, smirking.
   I opened my mouth, but snapped it shut again - completely at a loss for how to respond.
   "I'm sorry," he said, still smiling, though lowering his gaze, making his bangs fall back in front of his face. "I guess I should be asking if you're okay."

...yeah. That's all I wrote.

And now I'm going to go. So...

Keep it real!

First Class gets Top Marks

And not just in my books.

I've only heard good things about this movie - and, having already seen it three times, I can definitely vouch for it. X-Men: First Class rocked.

It made a modest $55 million since its opening on Friday and I'm hoping it'll stay in its top box office spot for at least another weekend more. If my movie attendance has anything to do with it, it will.

But enough with the vague compliments - let's get into the gritty details.

I guess I should start by saying that I am a huge X-Men fan. HUGE. So, sure, I probably have a bit of a bias, but I'll try to tone it down a bit. Still, being the big fan that I am, I very much appreciated all the small throw-backs to the previous three films interspersed throughout this one. Ashley Edward Miller and Zach Stentz proved their worth ten times over (they're the screenwriters, by the way). I mean, I actually left the theatre (the first time I watched it) thinking if there was anyone I could meet who worked on this movie, it'd be the screenwriters, because they did such a good job.

Of course, it wasn't just the throw-backs or the incredibly well-written characters - which, let me just say right now - for a comic book movie, these characters have no equal (except maybe Chris Nolan's Batman)... Add the fact that the plot (though a bit jumpy at times) was quite riveting and definitely entertaining and you've got yourself a script that I totally fall in love with.

Oh, and speaking of falling in love, I think it's time I give my two cents on some of the actors who brought these well-written characters to life.

Okay, I'll just come out and admit it. The actor who really caught my attention (and yeah, maybe my fancy too) was none other than Mr. Michael Fassbender - the one who played Erik Lehnsherr (aka Magneto). I thought he was amazing. And no, before you ask, it's not just because of his chisled jaw, leather jacket or sa-weet RayBans. I assure you, my legs go wobbly for a good performance just as much as they do for a good looking guy. So, let's just say I'm glad I was sitting to watch this movie...

Of course, there was Rose Byrne, whom I haven't seen since Troy, but that's just because I don't watch Nick Cage or Jonah Hill movies... Needless to say, I'm glad she's in better movies again. She's very good (in both this movie and another great one - Bridesmaids)!

James McAvoy plays a young Professor X... need I say more? We all know we've loved him since he appeared under a lamppost as Mr. Tumnus.

And one more definitely worth mentioning - Nicholas Hoult. Yep - the kid from About A Boy all growed up and only a year younger than me! When did that happen? He's actually kinda fantastic. In general. But especially in this movie.

If you could materialize two hours of a good time - it would look like a ticket to this movie. No joke and no exaggeration. Everything from the soundtrack to the interesting sets to the action scenes - it was all movie magic. I thoroughly enjoyed myself every time I watched it. So I have no doubt you - whoever you may be (and ps. you totally don't even need to be a superhero/comic book fan to love this movie) - will have a great time too.

Seriously - get out there and watch it!

:) Keep it real!

let go

Growing up, I was that weird kid that went along bike paths and soccer fields picking up snails and putting them out of harm's way. Worms got the same treatment... and pretty much any other critter that didn't know exactly how dangerous a place their prime tanning location was.

This morning I was walking from my car to the front door and I noticed a snail in my path. So, like old times, I bent down to pick it up and put it in a safer place. But this snail seriously didn't budge. I'm almost certain he sprouted hands and clung to his spot for dear life.

I tried to uproot him for a good three or four minutes but eventually gave up, stepped to the other side of the path so not to accidentally squish him and made sure to tell everyone within a ten meter radius to avoid the snail near the flower pot.

And strangely enough, this occurrence sort of mirrors something that's been on my mind for a little while now.

Sometimes I think I'm a lot like that snail. I'll feel something gently tugging at me, urging me to let go of whatever I happen to be clinging to at the time, but I don't wanna. Just ask my parents - I was a very stubborn child. I say 'was' as if that's changed, but, let's face it... it hasn't.

Little did the snail know, the reason why I was trying to uproot him was so I could put him someplace better. He was just focused on the path ahead of him, while I could see the entire street.

That got me thinking... when I feel that gentle nudge to release my kung-foo death grip on things like plans for the future, boy troubles, money and school worries... well, maybe I should try letting go.

I could name a thousand and one experiences I've had when I feel like God is nudging me to let go of my plans because he has something better in mind, but I'll refuse and hold on even tighter. I tell him how much I really like where I think my plan is going - how awesome it'll be when it comes to fruition and then I'll plug my ears and ignore anything he has to say after that.

I could also name a thousand and one experiences I've had when I did let something go, surrender control and find to my astonishment (every time) that God's plan really was better.

So lately I've been asking myself - why do I refuse what I know is best for me? Not only are God's plans better for my life, but they're also better for my sanity. I'm well aware that resistance isn't futile (hello? free will), but it's definitely exhausting. That snail was fighting me the same way I sometimes fight God's hand in my life and it takes so much more energy than just saying, "Okay, you win - where do you want me to go?"

And the best part is that the relief doesn't stop at the surrender - it stays with you. There's a comfort that comes with knowing that you're right where God wants you to be.

The moral of the story is obviously -- don't step on snails. If you didn't get that from everything I've just said, then I don't know what's wrong with you...

Just kidding.

Really, I just wanted to think aloud for a little while and I'm pretty sure I've now accomplished that. So I'm gonna go. (Can you tell I have no idea how to end this post? Can I use my new found surrendering of control 'lifestyle' as an excuse...?)

I'll just end it like this:

Keep it real!

adventure in the great wide somewhere

I'm officially on summer break. ...Let me just say that again. I'm officially on summer break! Oh man, it feels so good to be able to say that. I seriously never thought this day would come and yet it's actually here! *Sigh* This is nice.

Anyway, over the last few months I haven't been able to do very much besides focus on school so I plan on taking full advantage of the four summer months ahead of me to remedy my adventure fix.

Watch this short video and maybe you'll understand where I'm coming from...

And you wonder why Belle was always my favorite Disney 'princess'. I don't think there was anything about her that I couldn't relate to. She longs for adventures, she loves reading and she didn't just settle for the first guy who showed any interest in her... (but that's another topic altogether).

So, these adventures of which I speak - you may be wondering what they'll be. Or maybe you're not even reading my post anymore because after that clip you just had to go rewatch Beauty and the Beast. I think I'm okay with that. But if you're still with me, I'd like to talk about the adventures I'm most excited to experience this summer - and maybe inspire you to go on a few of your own.

Well, I'm hoping to get back into archery. Like I said, school kinda took over my life for a while there and I haven't picked up my bow since, like, January. So I'm stoked for that. I also plan on taking kickboxing classes because that's something I've been wanting to try for about two years now. Of course, taking classes is nothing like guest starring on Nikita or being the next female super action hero, but it's definitely something. I can't tell you how excited I am about it.

The last 'planned' adventure I have for this summer is a roadtrip to New York City with my closest girlfriends. I've never been to New York City before but I've been wanting to for years. If this roadtrip comes together, I'll be a pretty happy lady.

And I almost forgot! One of my best friends is getting married in August! I'm in the wedding party, so that day (and all the days leading up to it) is definitely going to be a blast. I can't wait!

Other than that, I don't have too many other adventures planned just yet. I don't think I'm going to do any skydiving or stunt car driving like previous summers, but you never know. My weekdays will probably be filled with the daily doctors office routine unless I suddenly publish a best seller or get an agent that actually gets me gigs... but truth be told, I'd be totally fine if neither of those things happened. I like the people I work with and my evenings will be so jam packed with fun stuff that I don't think it'll matter that I'm not currently in the field of work I'd like to be in.

Anyway, those are my summer adventure plans. As always, I'm hoping this summer will totally exceed my expectations -and they usually do. I think it'll be a lot of fun.

But right now I'm going to enjoy my first day off in I don't even know how long by watching an episode or two of Nikita (I've recently become addicted and I can totally justify lounging around today - it's pouring rain outside). :D I don't know what your summer plans are, but I hope you've got an adventure or two thrown in there. Because what's summer without a few epic adventures??

Keep it real!

another book update

So here's something you probably didn't see coming... Or maybe you did see it coming and you can predict the events in my life better than I can... either way, here's the thing:

I think I'm going to put my book publishing attempts on hold for a little while.

You see, I've got an entire book written - start to finish - emphasis on the 'finish'... But the first chapter is driving me bananas. As far as getting an agent goes, the first chapter is the most important because that's all they ask to see when you send them an example of your work. And my first chapter is a little back-story heavy, no matter how many times I try to fix it. It never jumps right into the action.

In my book's defense (and my defense too, I guess), it's the kind of story that really does need a little back-story because you need to care just a little about my characters before I throw them into the fire. And in this book's case particularly, you need to get to know a few characters before I flip the switch and you find out everything you thought they were was a lie.

Can you see why this thing is causing me so much trouble??

So, like I said, I'm going to put the agent-hunt on hold for a little while and slowly try to come up with something incredible (and sellable - apparently that's even more important than good literature). It's insane to me that I've got about thirty complete chapters that I'm totally happy with, but this first chapter is all I need to work on. Why does it have to work that way?

I guess I should also mention Part 2 of this plan, if you can call it a plan.

I've been working on another book for about a year and a bit now (at a slower pace, since my primary focus has been 'Broken Silence') called Lips of Umbra. And the thing about Lips of Umbra is that I'm well aware of how sellable its content is. Because it's a fantasy novel with a seventeen year old girl as the main character. And hey! she falls in love with a supernatural dude!

Before you laugh out loud at how much of a sell-out I am, please keep in mind this important fact: Twilight did in fact inspire this book, but not in the way you'd think. I wanted to write a book for the Twilight crowd that sneakily (or not so sneakily) promotes things like healthy relationships and the really important stuff, like actually having a personality (and a strong one at that).

Lips of Umbra will be my summer project and when it's finished (which hopefully isn't in the too distant future), I'll market it to agents. If someone picks it up, then I'll be a published author with another book already waiting in the wings. So it sounds like a pretty okay plan to me.

Anyway, I think that's all for book updates right now. Remember those assignments I mentioned in my last post? Yeah... still not done those... So I'll get to them right now... after I eat breakfast...

Keep it real!

new blog post

That title was the most creative thing I could come up with. Can you tell my brain's been fried? School - I shake my fist at you...

For those of you that haven't heard me complaining about it in person, I have a few assignments due within the next three days that I've barely started. And yes, I'm well aware that blogging about it won't get them done any faster... in fact, I'm pretty sure this'll slow the process down. BUT it's been so long since I last blogged - I just had to write something.

I'll even try to keep this blog educationally focused. ...Is that a thing? I'm going to make it a thing.

According to a blog I just started following five minutes ago, April is National Poetry Month and I happen to be taking a few English literature courses in which I've read a poem or two. So I would like to take this moment to share with you my favorite poem so far. ...Actually, I can't say that in good conscience because I have about eight zillion favorites, many of which were written by Emily Dickinson - someone I didn't even know was a poet (I just knew she was a famous writer) until this year... And I call myself an English major. For shame...

Anyway, this 'favorite' poem is by William Carlos Williams (awesome name, btw) and it's called This is Just to Say.

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold

If that's poetry, I like it.

Do you think my prof will count blogging with an 'educational focus' as something worth some marks? That would be awesome if she did because it's not like I'm ever going to finish any of these projects...

I guess I'll get back to them now.

Hey! Did you notice that it's spring outside?! I went for a short walk today (short was all I could afford) and it was glorious. I love this weather. I just thought I'd mention that.

Alright...

Keep it real!

fears and phobias

I haven't blogged in a while, eh? I've been feeling too narcissistic lately and I figured blogging would only feed my self-obsessed addictions so I stayed away from it, thinking the world really doesn't need to know about my life. But it's been two weeks and I was reading some other blogs and got inspired.

I read a pretty funny blog (this one to be precise) about childhood fears and I thought, what better way to return to the blogging world than by sharing with everyone what used to (and, in most cases, still does) scare me? 'Cause my imagination is... a little messed up. I think I actually shared all of the same fears as the woman whose blog I read, but here are a few that I came up with when reminiscing about my childhood (that may or may not include up to ten minutes ago)...

1. Going to the bathroom at night - specifically, flushing the toilet. My logic: loud noises make monsters come out.

1a. A closed shower curtain (only at night): a were-wolf could be hiding in the bathtub and I wouldn't know it. Solution: As soon as you walk into the bathroom, open the shower curtain quickly, in a ready-to-run stance.

1b. Turning off the bathroom light at night... because as soon as you turn it off, you're left in total darkness, ie. you're totally vulnerable to monster attacks. Solution: (well, first you have to wait a good two or three minutes after you've flushed the toilet so the monsters have gone back to sleep, and then, turn off the light and make a mad dash for your room.)

2. Sleeping without a blanket. My logic: Monsters can only pull you out of bed when they can see your feet.

3. People crawling at me... yeah, this one's weird... it might explain why I'm afraid of babies... My logic: dangerous animals walk on all fours - as soon as you are on all fours, my imagination will be triggered and I will think of you as a dangerous animal...

4. Getting my eyes poked out: When I was six or seven I watched The Phantom - starring Billy Zane - and there's a scene where someone has something awful happen to their eyes right after taking off their glasses... needless to say, it made me queezy about eyes and wishing for an excuse to wear glasses more often.

5. Swimming in the ocean: Sharks, eels, whales... minnows... knowing that there could be something swimming near me and possibly attacking me is enough to keep me close to shore.

5a. Swimming in lakes: I always imagine the Lock Ness monster swimming around near my feet as soon as I've gone more than ten feet away from the beach.

5b. Swimming in swimming pools: I used to think a shark would come in through that drain thing at the bottom of the deep end, so I'd always keep an eye on it.

5c. Walking near a creek. My logic: Yeah, we don't live in Florida, but I still think that a crocodile will come out and attack me... I've seen Crocodile Dundee too many times...

6. Walking from the car to the front door alone at night: Five feet is enough to get attacked by a crazy person...

6a. Walking from the front door to the car at night *different* - Once I get in the car, I'm afraid a bad guy has somehow gotten in the car and hidden in the back seat and he's just waiting to attack me... also, I lock the doors as soon as I get in, in case the bad guy is waiting to attack me from outside.

6b. The forest across the street from my house (this one is no longer valid because the forest has since been replaced by a giant house) - my older brother used to tell me that ghosts lived in it. I couldn't even look at it from the safety of my bedroom without the risk of having a nightmare or two. The fear later grew to include rapists living in the woods... (though my theories were never supported by facts)

7. Balloons: ...this one I can't explain. I think it's the fact that they can pop at any second and loud noises scare me.

8. Clowns: no explanation necessary, I'm sure.

9. Heights: anything higher than 2 stories and my legs turn to jello. And don't even get me started on staircases!

10. Flying (in airplanes). It may have something to do with heights...

I don't even want to admit to how many more there are... 10 is just scratching the surface. And they say having a wild imagination is a good thing. Ha!

Anyway, I'm going to return to my trying-not-to-be-narcissistic tendencies and end this post before I go on any more rants.

Keep it real!