"All the world's a stage, and the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts."

- William Shakespeare

Sunday, January 30, 2011

cooking with lars

I'm trying this thing called 'healthy eating'... the impulse to do so comes and goes, but i tried to make an omlette for dinner tonight... ('cause apparently eggs are low-carb and low-carb is good?)... the catch is: I can't cook. Seriously. Just look:


Check out the final final product:

Looks reeeeeeal appetizing, right?

...Actually, it was pretty good, despite its poor presentation. Still, I stand firmly by my claim that I cannot cook.

And that's about all that needs to be said in this post. So...

Keep it real!

Saturday, January 22, 2011

i'd like to thank...

I went to a writing seminar today. I've been to a few before and they've been helpful - don't get me wrong - but this one was really good. I think I took about ten pages of notes... only to discover there was a handout... but that's neither here nor there.

I'm not the type of person to take myself seriously... or fully commit to pretty much anything... but after about two years, I think I'm finally ready to say that I'm serious about writing. Yeah, I know. This coming from someone who's already sent out query letters to agents and written, like, fifty drafts of the same novel. Now I'm serious? Well... yeah, I guess.

So what brought this about?

The guest speaker at the workshop, Lynda Simmons, said that if you really want to be a writer, there comes a point where you have to take yourself seriously and - more importantly - you need to surround yourself with a few people that also take you, the writer, seriously.

Well, when she said that, something clicked. You see, two days ago I walked into my bedroom to find a package from amazon.ca (the website is amazon.ca... for those of you that watched Scott Pilgrim, you'll get the reference - at least, you'd better!) and a clipping from a newspaper sitting on my bed. The article spoke of a seminar... you guessed it! The one I just attended today. My mom had seen it in the paper and put it out on my bed, thinking I may find the seminar useful since I'm an aspiring writer.

When I thought about that as Lynda was saying I need to be around people that take me seriously, I realized - I already am. And apparently, that's something that can often be a struggle to find. So maybe it's about time I take this seriously. Maybe it's time I really own up to being a writer. Maybe it's time I don't just say something like, "Well I sorta kinda hope to be doing something that sorta kinda has to do with writing one day when I sorta kinda grow up..." when people ask me what I plan on doing with my English degree.

I want to write novels and short stories. And yeah, I also want to tell stories as an actor, but who knows? Maybe that dream will stay on the back burner for a little longer, because right now, writing is what I'm most passionate about.

So, I'll finish my rewrites of Broken Silence and send it off to a new set of agents in the States (because, side note - Lynda also said that a lot of Canadian agents and publishers look for stuff that's distinctly Canadian and my stuff is anything but)... and I'll see where things go from there.

All that said, I'd like to thank my mom. I know she never really liked the idea of me as an actor (Hollywood has a way of bringing people down and she always worried about all the trouble I'd find for myself if I made it there), but she's definitely embraced this new development and I really appreciate her support. As a whole, my family is pretty great about it, so I know I'm one of the lucky ones.

Anyway, that's all for now... I'm gonna boogie.

Keep it real!

Saturday, January 15, 2011


Ugh, I've been dreading this post. I've post-poned writing it for almost a week now.

Remember how I sent my query letter to ten different Toronto literary agents? I've mentioned it enough, so I'd be surprised if you didn't know that little factoid... Well, I just received the tenth and final response on Wednesday.

The fact that I began this post with an 'ugh' as opposed to a 'yay!' should be enough of a clue for you to figure out what the tenth and final response was. Just like the other nine: a big, fat no.

BUT, I'm not as disappointed as you might think.

I mean, sure, it sucks to hear from ten different people that your writing isn't good enough for them to bring to publishers (although most of them worded it in nicer terms), but there's always a silver lining.

For one thing, I've heard a million and one stories about best sellers who couldn't market their books to save their lives. They'd get upwards of thirty rejections and wouldn't let that stop them. Plus, giving up isn't in my DNA so even if it went against all reason, I'd still pick myself up, brush myself off and try again.

Also, with every rejection letter I received, I went back to my novel and worked on it a little more. One agent actually gave me a few suggestions even though they don't usually do that with works that they've rejected. (PS. it was an agent from the bukowski agency - even though I won't be represented by them, I still totally respect them and would recommend them to anyone because of how awesome they've been to me).

I've shaved a couple thousand words off from the beginning of my story so it can get to the action faster and I'm still cutting a few useless bits here and there. It went from almost 108,000 words down to 104,000 words since Wednesday, so I'm already getting excited to send the new version to a new batch of agents to see what they think.

Speaking of, I'm pretty excited about the agents themselves. This time around I'll be sending it to agents in New York. I figure a story about a girl in Boston might have a bigger market in the States anyway. One of the agencies represented Ewan McGregor's book, so I know I'd be in good hands - I just need to make sure my book is ready for their high standards.

Luckily, I don't need to rush. I forgot that you're allowed to take breathers, even when you're aspiring to make something of your life. Granted, my idea of a breather is more of a switching of tracks than a stopping at a station, so to speak. And by that I mean I may just pay more attention to getting an acting agent in the next month or so and get back to the literary agent later. Or, I may do both. Because I'm insane.

This week's forcast: a few sparadic flurries and the definite possibility that I might wear myself too thin. So, as cheesy as it sounds, I'm forcing myself to listen to this song over and over again because it sort of reminds me that no matter how many things I want to do with my life, sometimes I just need to take a step back and remember that all I have is right now, and it's amazing, just the way it is.

Oh, so cheesy.

Keep it real!

Thursday, January 6, 2011

people's choices

So, the People's Choice Awards were on last night and I totally missed them but I'm trying to find a way to watch them online. I already know all the winners, but I still enjoy watching awards shows just for entertainment's sake.

I don't know who these 'people' are that are making the choices as to which actors will walk away with awards, but I definitely don't trust their judgement anymore. Not after I saw the list of winners from last night.

Whenever I see this one holding an award, I know something's wrong.

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse took away the most awards of the night. Which makes me want to cry. Because it's so sad that it is what kids call good cinema these days. And Adam Sandler won for best comic actor? Really?! There are more than seven people out there that found Grown Ups hysterical? Geez, it's enough to turn someone off of awards shows altogether.

I really need to find out who these people are that are casting votes. I can't even say that I hope they're all in the 13-18 year old category, because most of the winners last night were so ridiculous, I'd be ashamed to hear that a five year old had made the choice.

But that's enough of my negativity. I sound like such a movie snob... so I guess I should knock my pride down a notch or two by admitting that, no matter how often I claim to hate the franchise, I still own all of the Twilight movies to date. So, really, I can't say a thing about ridiculous choices other people have made.

On that pathetic note, I'll bid thee adieu.

Keep it real!

Saturday, January 1, 2011

delusions, conclusions and resolutions

First things first: HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I quite enjoyed 2010, I hope you all did too. It's weird looking back at what my life looked like a year ago today. So much has changed, yet sometimes it seems like nothing has changed at all.

2010 was the year in which I did not act... for the most part. I was in my church's Christmas pageant, but those productions hardly include acting if we're being really honest with ourselves. Anyway, that was only last week so I can still hold to my claim that I haven't done anything acting related for a year. Which meant at about this time last year I gave up my identity and went on a quest to find a new one... or maybe just a deeper aspect to the old one.

Surrendering my biggest dream and practically only identity wasn't something I did easily, but looking back, I can't believe how much that one decision affected possibly the rest of my life. It was an incredible learning experience in so many ways. Not only did I learn that one can't stake their whole identity in something as fleeting as acting, but I also learned how much more there is to life when you let go of control, keep an open mind and try a hand at flying by the seat of your pants. I had experience after experience that led me to believe that God's plans are infinitely more elaborate, fun and perfectly fit for me than I ever thought possible.

Of course, my crazy quest won't end with the ushering in of 2011, especially since now I'll face the challenge of integrating my actor self into everything else I've discovered in the past year. I'm unbelievably excited to see what else God has in store.

I'm not one to make 'new year's resolutions' because the beginning of a new day is just as much motivation as a new year for me, but I've made a resolution recently enough to mention it briefly in here. I already made the mistake of telling my siblings about it and they have been far too regularly (and eagerly) keeping me accountable to it. Mentioning it to even more people will only bring me more grief, I'm sure, but I might as well - accountability can't hurt results, right?

My newest resolution is to stop complaining so much. I don't know if I actually complain more often than the average human being, but I definitely feel like I do and complaining is the most irritating thing in the world to listen to. So to put the people around me out of their misery, I thought I should give it a shot.

... About five minutes into my new year I'd already started in on the complaining... to which my little brother 'kindly' stated, "what was that new year's resolution you made?" and I shut up. And really, what the heck do I have to complain about? I'm just your average student with a part-time job, great friends, a family I love (most days) and a God who's always got my back... I don't know what my life looks like to everyone else, but to me, I couldn't imagine it getting any more perfect than it already is. So the complaining ends now, the anticipation for great things will always be around and (hopefully) in 2011 I will radiate positivity :)

I've been trying to live in a way that doesn't let the circumstances of life get me down. In 2010 I never felt better and I don't know exactly what I'm doing (ever) but whatever it is, I'll be trying to keep it up in 2011.

I never want to write for the sake of writing... so I'm hoping you can take something away from what I have to say, whatever that is. Sure, I want to be heard, I want my opinions to be known by at least some. I always have something to say and I even though sometimes I regret saying it, I hope that my ridiculous rantings, reviews or weird outlooks on life will cause someone to ponder more thoroughly their own.

Thanks for reading my stuff whenever you get a chance and showing your support in so many ways. I'm having a difficult time ending this blog in an uncheesy manner... I think I'll just end the same way I began.

Happy New Years!!

Keep it real.