"All the world's a stage, and the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts."

- William Shakespeare

Wednesday, December 29, 2010


Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you; Happy Birthday dear BLOOOOG, Happy Birthday to you!

Guess what happened a year ago today? I think I may have given it away what with the happy birthday song... which I would have to pay to sing had this been a movie / video blog. But that's beside the point.

It's been a year since I began writing this blog so I thought I'd at least recognize that fact in a short post. This close to New Years, I don't want to do too much 'looking back at the past year' but I guess I should maybe do something sort of like that... just a little though.

I had an old blog before Lars and the Real World and after a year I had only written 12 posts, so I think I'm getting better at the whole 'writing posts' thing. I'm still not entirely sure I'm even sold on blogging... I mean, a lot of times I'm not sure why I blog, but maybe sometimes it's good to share opinions and ideas with the world... I'm always more expressive when I write anyway. But I'm trying to change that.

Anyways, I'm gonna stop writing for now because if I'm not careful I'll get into new years resolutions and looking back at where I was a year ago today and I think all that can wait for New Years Eve or Day or something.

Now's a great time to thank any and every one who reads my blog though. Thanks for taking an uncreepy peek into my life - there's no point in blogging if there's no one to read the posts. So thanks for reading my rantings so far! It's been a great year :)

Keep it real!

Friday, December 24, 2010

christmas eve

T'was the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Not a creature was stirring,
Not even a mouse.

Seriously, my house is practically empty so there`s no one around to do the stirring. And my pet mouse died a year or two ago, but let`s not bring that up right now, shall we?

So, yeah, it's Christmas Eve and I've got nothing to do 'til 6 o'clock hits. And then all Heaven will break loose. Haha, pun intended! I crack myself up... and I'm probably the only one laughing.


Anyway, it's Christmas Eve and I'm writing this from the floor of my sister's room. Well, I'm on a memory foam matress which is on the floor of my sister's room. I was kicked out of mine... I mean, I kindly offered to give up my room so that my grandfather would have a place to sleep. It's not actually an inconvenience, I just felt like making it sound like one. But this is a cozy set up and it's a bit like Christmases of the past, back when I used to share a room with my sister on a daily basis. The only time we ever enjoyed that set up was on Christmas Eve and the night of Christmas itself. On Christmas Eve we'd gab for a while about how excited we were for the day to arrive and the following night we'd gab for even longer about "did Mom and Dad even look at our Christmas lists?!" and the like.

That's how it used to be every year. The older I get, the more I realize how selfish a child I used to be. I mean, I cut myself a little slack, 'cuz I was just a kid... but I used to take things pretty overboard once in a while. And I always fought for equality as far as siblings' gifts were concerned. It's really refreshing to enter the Chistmas season without that kind of attitude. Being perfectly content with my life heading into Christmas means that there's a greater chance that I'll still be perfectly content once the season passes. Whether or not I get that one great movie, or a really sweet new pair of shoes shouldn't have any effect on my 'Christmas spirit'.

After all, the 'reason for the season' isn't how many gifts you'll get. You hear that all the time but I'm really only just starting to understand it. The Christmas season is the only time I can watch my bank balance decline with a big, fat grin on my face. And the best part is knowing that Jesus gave up so much more than just a few bucks to show us His love. I can't imagine giving up paradise to come and live on earth. Earth's a great place and all, but it's hard enough when you know there's something better out there... In Jesus' case, he'd experienced the something better. He had a hand (or word) in making the universe only to become utterly dependent on a teen mom.

Suffice to say, Christmas is my favorite holiday for many a reason. I hope you all get a chance to relax and enjoy the season - whether it be the family gathering aspect, the giving, the getting, the carols or best of all, the celebrating of the first breath of the guy who keeps me breathing.

I think there's only one thing left to say:

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!! :)

Thursday, December 16, 2010

quick book update

Being the most impatient person on the planet definitely has its pitfalls, especially when one is trying to be a writer. But somehow I'm staying positive. Probably because I handed my book over to God waaaay before I pitched the idea to any agents, so I know the matter is safe in His hands.

That being said, I thought I'd give a short update on how it's going right now.

I think it's been about a month since I sent my query letters out to 10 different publishing agents across Toronto. The day they arrived at the agencies, I got an email from a pretty reputable one saying I'd submitted wrong but they didn't necessarily want to flat out reject my idea and encouraged me to submit the right way which was to send them the first 50 pages of my manuscript. Needless to say, as soon as I got home from school that day, the pages were printed and being mailed off - express delivery. They said it would take up to six weeks to hear back from them. So I'm waiting.

Other than that one ray of sunshine, I've received three rejection letters so far and one 'return to sender,' so it doesn't even count. I'm glad I've got about ten years of learning how to deal with rejection under my belt from being an actor, otherwise I might have let the rejection letters get to me. But I know all it takes is one agency that's willing to represent my book. So even if I get nine (well, eight since that 'return to sender' one was a wash) rejection letters, I'll still be the happiest kid on earth.

That's about it for the update. I'm hoping the rest of the agencies aren't planning on making me wait until after Christmas for their responses. I mean, I can only take so much waiting before it'll start to get to me...

... Keep it real!

Sunday, December 12, 2010

the studying process

I got home from church today at about 1:30 and ate lunch. As soon as I was finished eating I decided it was time to hit the books. I have two exams tomorrow, so I knew wasting the afternoon away would be a bad idea in the long run.

I didn't want to waste a minute of study time. I went upstairs to my room and grabbed Jingle All the Way and brought it downstairs. My brother put it in the dvd player and we both sat down on the couch and began enjoying the ridiculous-ness of a 90s movie paired with the force that is Arnold Schwarzenegger. After about 20 minutes I realized I hadn't brought my computer down with me so I went back up to my room, grabbed my computer (and its plug so the battery wouldn't run out on me during my study session) and went back downstairs. I turned on my computer and checked my email. Then I checked facebook. Then I changed my facebook profile picture because it's been almost a week since the last time I changed it and a week's my limit.

Another 20 minutes went by and I realized I didn't have the sheet of paper my teacher printed off for us informing us of what we need to study for tomorrow's exam. So I went back up to my room and got the paper. I came back downstairs and began reading it over but didn't really absorb any information because Arnold Schwarzenegger's voice is just too distracting. So I put the paper down along with my computer and decided I should just get let myself watch the rest of Jingle All the Way so that the urge to watch it can leave my system and thus I'd have one less distraction when it came time to study.

Fifteen minutes later I realized I was incredibly tired. A late night paired with an early wake up call this morning meant I hadn't really had enough sleep. So I thought I'd rest my eyes for a bit, but in the same room as the TV so I wouldn't miss any awesome Arnie moments.

Twenty minutes later my brother poked my shoulder and said I had to listen to the hilarious grunts Arnie was making as people tried to get him into his Turbo Man suit so I opened my eyes, laughed and fell back asleep.

I woke up to see the end and smiled. 90s movies could be so heart-warmingly cheesy. Then we watched the trailer for Jingle All the Way because we love hearing that voice-over guy who dictated every 90s movie trailer. Then I decided I still wasn't well rested enough to be able to concentrate on studying so I went upstairs to my bed and lay down.

I had planned to nap until my mom came home from grocery shopping so that I could use the car to go to the gym before studying because I knew that would be all I was thinking about until I got a chance to work out but only five minutes into my nap (I was only half-asleep), I heard the van turn into the driveway... and I decided it was probably best to fully fall asleep before making myself wake up.

Three hours later I woke up... and I was hungry. So I went downstairs and ate some chicken wings and cheese (totally random dinner, but it was easy to make... ie. it was already made so all I had to do was eat it). Then my little brother asked if he could watch some of 30 Rock Season 1 and I thought I should probably watch an episode or two with him. So we watched the pilot for third or fourth time this year.

I looked at the time and realized it was really time for me to start studying so I came back upstairs to my room and checked my facebook and my email. And then I decided to blog about my day.

I'm so glad I didn't waste my afternoon... I'm going to ace tomorrow's exam...

Keep it real.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010


I just have one word to describe this movie: incredible. It had everything a great movie needs - action, adventure, humour and romance. And it's Disney, so there were even a few catchy tunes!

It definitely earned a spot right near the top of my favorite Disney movies - and that's saying something, believe me - I'm a Disney freak.

I would be remiss if I didn't mention the fact that my favorite endearing actor plays the role of the hilarious 'prince' in this fairytale. None other than Zachary Levi, of course. And he can sing! Who knew?!

The movie was very well done; relevant for kids these days, but also stuck to a lot of its old school Disney ways, which, I have to say, I appreciated. I loved every minute of it. I'm anxiously awaiting the day when I can bring it home to my movie shelves so I can watch it again and again, just like my other favorite classics.

I'm thinking you should make an effort to see it. Unless you really hate Disney, there's no way this movie can let you down.

PS. If you need someone to go with you - I'll gladly see it again. And again... and again!

Keep it real!

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

under pressure

They say "a little skipping won't kill you" ... "you can afford to take a day off" ... etc etc - so I'm wondering why I always feel so guilty when I skip out on the gym. Like today, for example. I woke up bright and early (well, 7:30 am is early in my books) in order to hitch a ride to the gym (save myself from a 10 minute walk in the cold) and work out for an hour or two. I got up, ate breakfast, packed my bag ... and then decided I didn't want to go. I had a legitimate reason: laundry. Afterall, Tuesday mornings are my only day off so if I don't do it today, I'll have to wear the same pair of socks for another week. Plus, I have an assignment due in about 6 hours. It's a lot bigger than I made it out to be in my head, so at some point soon I'm going to need to buckle down and do it.

But... it's now 11am and I don't think I've left my bed since re-entering it after breakfast. Besides discovering the world of tumblr, I haven't done a lot. In fact, I've done nothing. I still have to do three, if not four, loads of laundry and write two plays and a short write-up on my experience of it (weird, I know) ... and the worst part of it is, I skipped the gym in order to do those things. I would've been home from the gym over an hour ago and no worse off than I am right now.

I'm getting tired of having to force myself to go to the gym every. single. time. You'd think it would get easier! I mean, once I'm there, I actually do enjoy myself, as hard as that is to believe (for me, especially). I love to run - I never used to, but I do now. And weight lifting... well, it's not the funnest thing on the planet but it feels really good, so that's usually enough to get me through to the end of the routine.

I dunno... maybe it's just the cold weather. It makes me want to cuddle up in a blanket with hot chocolate and a good book and hibernate until spring. Or maybe it's the fact that my house is almost as cold as it is outside! My dad's core temperature has to be 20 degrees above the average person's! I don't think my feet have had a chance to defrost since September... It's getting to be unbearable.

...And now I'm just complaining...

So I'll get back to my original issue. Why do I feel this guilty about missing one day at the gym? Are my stubborn personality and unrealistically high expectations the only thing to blame in this situation? Or is it the fact that everywhere I look I see girls who look the way I want to? And I'm not referring to the Mary-Kate and Ashleys out there. I don't want to look sickly...

See, the thing is - I think, as an aspiring actor (which I still am, despite my one year hiatus), there's more pressure to look a certain way than there is for the average girl. The average girl wants to look 'thin' or whatever because she thinks that's what guys like. But she discovers eventually (I hope) that guys don't want that - most guys can appreciate real beauty in a real girl. An aspiring actor though - well, she knows how hard it is to look a certain way and how many sacrifices it takes to get there (and yes, she understands what airbrushing is); the aspiring actor even knows that her body is perfect just the way it is. But when the aspiring actor is competing with people like Mary-Kate and Ashley, Megan Fox and Natalie Portman, she definitely feels a bit of pressure to level out the playing field as much as possible.

Don't get me wrong - that's not the only reason why I work out, but it's definitely a major player as far as the guilty conscience goes. The main reason for working out is to be healthy. Which I am. I feel amazing these days. Now if only I could find a way to relax a little whenever I have to take a day off. Where do I find the valve that'll ease up on the pressure?

What's really ironic is that a 'campaign' that I worked on about a year ago is about to get into the hands of teenagers all over the States in the form of a magazine called sex, etc. Don't let the name throw you - it's a magazine that discusses all the issues teenagers have to deal with these days. And their focus for Winter 2010: Body Image.

Apparently it's still the fall (even though my frozen feet think otherwise), but when winter rolls around, you can check it out on their website.

I think I'm going to start doing some laundry... and maybe start and finish my assignment so I don't feel like today was a total waste...

Keep it real.

Monday, December 6, 2010

european holidays

Are you of European descent? Well, if you're not, this post may encourage you to claim to be.

I have some European blood flowing through my veins. Mostly German, but I'm told there's a bit of Scottish and British mixed in as well. Regardless, it's the German that holds the most precedence. Especially in this post. (I actually claim my Aussie roots far more often... until December 6th, of course).

My family celebrates Saint Nicholas Day. It's like Christmas but smaller and earlier. But there are gifts involved none the less.

The deal is (for those of you who haven't heard of this awesome day until now), you put a shoe outside of your bedroom door on the night of December the 5th and when you wake up the next morning, your shoe is full of presents! Kinda like this:

It's pretty much the coolest thing ever.

Most of the presents are usually edible, but one year I got the Complete Works of Shakespeare so... it's pretty sweet.

I guess I could have mentioned this earlier... because if any of you want to start up the tradition in your own homes, you'll have to wait a whole year now. I just figured I should tell you about it first before wishing you a happy saint nicholas day... So now that you've been enlightened (or possibly just reminded):

Happy Saint Nicolas Day!

Go buy someone some chocolate... or better - a pair of shoes! :) Oh! And if you want to read up on the why of this holiday... you can look at the wikipedia page about it. I know wikipedia is supposedly a faulty source, but I've learned many an interesting fact by browsing through that website. So there!

Keep it real.

Friday, December 3, 2010

you call yoursuff a movie buff?!

I actually do know how to spell 'yourself' but it just didn't have the same ring to it. But, let's get back to the important issues at hand, shall we?


Okay, so maybe I let my definition of important slip a little, but they play a pretty significant role in society these days, so it probably doesn't hurt to pay some attention to them.

On a completely different note (or is it?), I've been watching a lot of this show called 'The Buried Life' recently. You need to watch a quick trailer to find out the basics in a way that doesn't require me to write anything...

Pretty cool, right? They're pretty inspiring - so inspiring, in fact, that I'm feeling a bit inspired.  

Now, I haven't written a bucket list yet, though I've had a few ideas running through my head for years - and, in my defence, I've crossed off a few fun things already; like go skydiving and learn how to be a stunt driver, but there's still lots more I'd love to accomplish or experience before I die. I also love helping other people realize some of their goals and dreams and I'm planning on making that a part of my life too (however that looks)... But as far as good, wholesome fun goes - I've decided to make a Movie bucket list.

Now it's all coming together, right? Me mentioning the movies at the beginning and then randomly changing the topic -- you get the picture.

What brought this on? Well, I'm tired of claiming to be a movie buff and then knowing diddly-squat about all of the important movies of the century.

So I made a list of 50 movies I'd like to see before I die. I typed it up and printed it off - thus the adventure has begun... well, it will begin as soon as I put the first dvd in my dvd player.

I don't know how long this'll take, but starting is the first step, right?

I was thinking I'd write the list down in this blog post, but that would make this a pretty long blog post, wouldn't it? So I've decided to make you a collage. Of movies. It's not all the movies on my list, but it's still cool looking. I can post the list later... if needed.

I never said it would be a work of art - geez! Gimme a break!


Well, that's all for now. I borrowed Rain Man and The Royal Tennenbaums from the public library (they're on my list), so hopefully I'll cross two off my list within the week.

Might I recommend giving The Buried Life a watch? Check out season 2 online at mtv.ca... or just click here!! (I finally discovered how to add links to my page in that super cool way that makes you look like you understand technology... yay!)

So - what do you want to do before you die?

Keep it real!

Tuesday, November 30, 2010


Go watch a few episodes of Arrested Development if you weren't aware that my blog post's title is actually the greatest quote of all time...

There's actually a purpose to this post, don't worry. And it has to do with her:

That's Anne Hathaway, for anyone who doesn't frequent movie theatres. She's been in such movies as The Princess Diaries, The Devil Wears Prada and Get Smart. I used to like her a lot more back in the day when she wasn't so aware of how 'amazing' she is... Now she usually bugs me in her newer movies, but that could just be the ol' bitterness talking, so I'll try not to completely bash her in this post in case any of you out there think it's cool to see someone rise from humble beginnings and then enjoy their power a little too much. As Herman Melville would say, she is a woman "whom prosperity harmed."

...Still, I could just be reading too much into what I see, so I'll shut up about all that now.

The real reason I bring Hathaway up is because it was just announced that she will be co-hosting the 2011 Academy Awards with her recent co-star, James Franco (you'll notice I seem to have no argument as far as Franco is concerned).

...I know there's no need for his picture to be included in this rant,
But who said I needed a reason??...

So... I'm just wondering what exactly the Academy is thinking. Why Anne Hathaway? Don't they usually ask comedians to host? Or Tony Award winners (in Hugh Jackman's case)?... I don't know about you, but whenever I watch Anne Hathaway try to be funny, the only thing that runs through my head is "Stick to the sentimental stuff... That seems to work for you."

And please don't tell me she's going to try to mimic Hugh Jackman because there's no topping his performance. Plus, when he sings, he looks like he's doing it to have fun; when Hathaway sings, it looks like she's doing it expecting a standing ovation.

And what do her and Franco have in common besides a recent movie? Franco's an introverted actor who writes on the side (and you wonder why I love him) and Hathaway's an extrovert who seems to love the spotlight. If the Academy had chosen James Franco and Seth Rogen to co-host, that would have made all the sense in the world; or they could've hired some more movie legends like Billy Crystal, Alec Baldwin or Steve Martin... But an actress who's only recently gone from 'up and coming' to 'attracts a crowd'... where's the logic?

If you haven't noticed, I'm trying to say I'm feeling a bit precarious about the 2011 Academy Awards. I miss the good old days when Billy Crystal hosted. But hey! Even if everything goes awry, I'll still get to watch James Franco for a few hours straight, right? And maybe I'm being too pessimistic... Maybe the Academy made a good choice... maybe. All I can do is wait and see.

Keep it real!

Sunday, November 28, 2010

weekend wars

I'm not actually going to talk about MGMT, the band my post's title is an obvious reference to... but I am going to talk about the battles I've faced this weekend.

That sounds more exciting than it actually was.

On Saturday morning I woke up with a jolt upon remembering the fact that I have a presentation on Wednesday that I still haven't started. So instead of spending my Saturday morning leisurely watching Christmas movies (I don't care if everyone thinks it's too early), I was jumping into the ol' minivan (aka the bane of my existence) and driving to the Mississauga Central Library.

It wasn't until I reached the library that the first interesting development of my morning took place. I was searching the library's online catalogue for anything and everything discussing Emily Dickinson (the topic of my presentation) and stumbled upon the name Christopher Benfey. I'd heard the name before - my grandpa likes to mention him whenever we discuss my budding career in writing. He's a published author and relative of mine who seems to be obsessed with Emily Dickinson. Bonus for me. Oh wait - no it's not. 'Cuz he lives in the States far away and my presentation is in three days! So I can't really pump him for information in between ice breakers, all over the course of about a day and a half...

When I left the library, I decided to make a quick stop in Chapters (because I was in a booky mood... even though I've sworn off buying stuff again - this time my reasoning is that Christmas is just around the corner, so going on a shopping spree is probably the worst idea on the planet... Take note friends, because I don't want to get you an awesome Christmas present only to find out you bought it for yourself last week... but enough on this tangent).

So I was in Chapters and happened to buy a Christmas present or two for friends while I was in there, but mostly what I ended up doing was wallowing in self-pity. On the bright side though, I learned a very valuable lesson: when you're an aspiring author, stay the hell away from all book stores and libraries because all they do is serve as a reminder of how many people get to do what you can only dream of. This also used to happen whenever I stepped into a Blockbuster or left a movie theatre, but those experiences have finally lost their sting.

Anywho, now it's Sunday afternoon and I should probably be working on that Emily Dickinson project or one of my other school assignments, but instead I find myself blogging about my feelings. Ha!

...I don't know where that sarcasm came from... I should probably have a nap or something...

I wanted to go to the gym but there's no car in the driveway and even though I used to make fun of people who drive to the gym, I find myself embracing my double standards because it's cold outside. That's enough to keep me indoors, thank you very much.

I want a car.

This car, in particular:

But, until then I guess I'll just walk to the gym in the freezing cold... or do something productive, like homework...

Either way, I'll leave you alone now.

Keep it real!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

hallelujah! ...almost

I've been up for almost 24 hours... I had a nap from 1 to 3 am this morning, so I guess I didn't actually pull an all-nighter.

I was writing an essay for my Anglo-Saxon Lit class and I just finished in half an hour ago.


But I still have a few more assignments due before the end of the semester...

(Hence the almost.)

Still, the Hallelujah Chorus keeps running through my head.

It may have something to do with the youtube video my mom showed me this morning when I was three quarters of the way done my essay...

Check it out!

It helped me stay awake for the last few hours it took to finish my essay. I'm thinking Red Bull is what'll keep me awake for the rest of the day.

Have a good one!

And keep it real.

Monday, November 15, 2010

six weeks?!

I was just reading up on the few (ten) literary agencies I sent my query letter to and most of them say it will take up to six weeks before they get back to me.

Six weeks!

It'll practically be the new year before I find out whether or not anyone wants to represent my book. Represent, not publish. It'll take another few months for that ball to get rolling.

This is going to take longer than I thought.

I don't know if I'll be able to take all this waiting. I've only just mailed out the letters and I'm already losing sleep. As Sebastian the Crab would say, "my nerves are shot!"

What did I get myself into?

...Keep it real.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

life as an aspiring author

I had a few crazy ideas recently and I figured blogging about them is the best thing to do...

Idea #1: Try to publish a book...

Wait, scratch that.

Idea #1: Write a book;

Idea #2: Try to publish said book;

Idea #3 (and most relevant to this post): Blog about the process.

So, here I go (for anyone interested).

I wrote a book. The working title is Broken Silence and it's about a girl who finds out her step-brother is a crime lord... Weird, I know. I have no idea why this was the story just waiting to flow from my mind to paper, but it was. Anywho, the book is finally finished (a friend of mine is still editing it, but I actually finished writing it, so that's what I mean when I say finished) and now the less fun times come: trying to get it published.

I'm a little worried about bringing people along for the ride only because I'm not sure how long it'll last. Who knows? Maybe no one will want to publish it and then where would I be? ...But I haven't gotten to that part of the process yet, so I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

Tomorrow, instead of doing homework, I will be mailing out my query letter to ten different literary agents in the Toronto area. A query letter (for anyone who doesn't know - much like me only a month ago) is sort of like the back cover of your book plus a little bit about yourself as an author and/or person. It's supposed to get the agent interested enough in your book to ask for the first three chapters. It has to be a page tops. I think it's safe to say my query letter was the hardest thing I've ever written. I had to condense 256 pages (107,000 words) into three very short paragraphs. Somehow I managed. And tomorrow I'll mail it out.

And then I'll wait.

Super exciting, right?

If, by some miracle, my query letter peeks an agent's interest, they will then ask me for the first few chapters of the book. If the agent likes these first few chapters, they will then ask for my entire manuscript. Finally, if they like my book as a whole, they will agree to represent me to publishers. And then the process begins all over again, but this time around I'll have help.

Apparently Stephanie Meyer (author of Twilight - don't ask me why I know so much about that book) went from first draft to books on shelves within six months - the bad writing is proof. Still, her process was crazy short, but there's no telling how long mine will be.

But it all begins with the mailing of the query letters. So my publishing journey begins tomorrow morning. I'll keep you posted and let you know how mine turns out.

Keep it real!

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Hardwicke Hardships

On Wednesday night my world shattered.

...Okay, well maybe it didn't shatter... but it definitely cracked.

I was perusing the internet like I usually do when I'm in a class that allows computers and decided it was time to check up on my old pal, Emile Hirsch (and by old pal I mean I wish he knew I existed... but he's a great actor nonetheless). So I was checking on him and discovered he was set to star in an upcoming remake of Hamlet which I was immediately skeptical of. He's going up against the likes of Sir Lawrence Olivier. No one wants to be compared to that.

Regardless, I wanted to see who was crazy enough to direct such a difficult piece and my heart (I'm pretty sure) stopped beating when I saw the name: Catherine Hardwicke.

You may not recognize that name, but I do. Unfortunately.

She was the director of Twilight: the worst movie ever made (well... that and The Happening).

If you were to ask me who my favorite director was, I wouldn't be able to tell you because there are too many. But ask me who my least favorite is and that's Catherine Hardwicke. Hands down.

Now, don't get me wrong here - I'm not blaming the story of Twilight on Hardwicke. Obviously she had nothing to do with that part of the monstrosity that is the phenomenon. But the movie itself, everything about it screams poor direction. That mixed with the fact that I've watched the commentary (I do that with tons of movies, not just bad ones - don't judge me) which gives one an inside look into the poorly thought out choices and ridiculous days on set when no one knew what was going on...

Just bad all around.

But the fact that she will destroy - I mean direct - Hamlet wasn't even the most world-shattering part of my evening. It gets oh-so-much worse.

For a brief moment I felt perhaps I was being too hard on Hardwicke. I mean, she made one horrible movie, but she also directed Lords of Dogtown which I've heard a few good things about. With only these two movies (and Thirteen, but I haven't seen that one either) to go on, it was hardly fair to judge her so harshly so I decided to look at her resume.

She's been a production designer on almost twenty films and has directed four (not including Hamlet or the other two that are listed as in production).

I'd known three of her four credits and the fourth one was the shocker.

She directed The Nativity Story. The director whom I've referred to for years as the one that can do no right - she directed one of my favorite movies of all time. A movie I thought to be incredibly well done. I adore The Nativity Story.


(That was the sound of my world on Wednesday night.)

I actually feel like my world has flipped on its head. Right is wrong, left is right... and bad does good. What is going on?

I can't even conclude this blog. I can't end it with something like, "And now I like Catherine Hardwicke." All I can do is stare blankly at the screen (much like I did when I first discovered this life...well, perspective altering fact) and go, "uhhhhhhhh......."

When will this news stop making my brain hurt? I no longer know what to think...


Keep it real?

Saturday, October 30, 2010

here it goes again

So I was doing a little bit of research after posting my v-blog online and discovered that even Imogen Heap keeps her v-blogs under twelve minutes. And she's Imogen Heap - of course she has much more interesting things to say. What I'm trying to say here is sorry, again, for making such an insanely long v-blog about pretty much nothing. Next time I'll keep it under five minutes (if there will even be a next time).

Anyway, I just wanted to write a short blog today (partly because it is another way to avoid the inevitable which, today, takes the form of three 4-5 page essays all due on Monday. Of course I haven't started them yet! But at least I've read the material I'm supposed to be writing about... so there's that).

I was scrolling down on my facebook home page (yet another good way to avoid essay writing) when I came across an interesting tidbit of information. My friend Mark (aka Fyodor Lewis) - sorry Mark, I don't know how to make a direct link to your page... I wish I was more tech-savvy - had a poem of his spotlighted (is that a verb?) on another blog which is super cool. And that got me thinking about a short story I just wrote. I don't like writing short stories. I like novels... and plays... and screenplays... and that's all. So obviously, the short story was written under duress (creative writing assignment). I wrote it the morning of the due date and I wasn't really happy with it... I still think it's incredibly corny and too obviously reaching for a stereotypical tearjerker. But my teacher thought it was 'wonderful' and 'publishable as is.'

Seeking different perspectives, I lent it to my parents to give it a read (hoping they'd agree with me, for some masochistic reason). My mom said it made her cry (in the right way) and my dad said he agreed with my teacher.

So that coupled with the inspiration received from seeing Mark's work commended, I've decided to enter my short story into a competition or two.

I don't like competitions. Especially writing ones. Because we all know how the last one turned out. But here I go trying again.

As 'luck' would have it, there are a bajillion and one short story writing competitions that all close tomorrow or November 1. So at least this time around I won't have to wait forever to hear the news, good or bad.

I'm only submitting my story to two competitions. That keeps things simple. I like simple.

Anyway, I just thought I'd let you know about this zany new development in my life. Of course I'll let you know the outcome as soon as I'm told what it is. And if I win, drinks on me! (Just kidding... I have to save, remember? Maybe I'll get you a little umbrella like the kind they put in cocktails so you can pretend I bought you a drink...)

Now I really will start writing those essays. Boo. Hope your weekend involves a lot more fun than mine will! Oh! And Happy Halloween!! :D

Keep it real.

Friday, October 15, 2010

inside look

Today I had a few things on my mind and I thought it would be fun to show you instead of just talk about them with you. So, since I have a wildly entertaining (at least, in my opinion) imagination, we're gonna go on a little tour of my brain...

(This isn't actually mine, but let's pretend.)

You know how you can get a song stuck in your head? Or sometimes it's just a few lyrics playing over and over again all day. Well, today's was a good one:

(start watching from the 30 second point)

"I read with every broken heart we should become more adventurous."

And on your right - [pretend I'm speaking like Tour Guide Barbie now] - you'll see one of my favorite clips from one of my favorite movies, The Count of Monte Cristo (with one of my favorite actors, Jim Caviezel):

"Life is a storm. You will bask in the sunlight one moment and be shattered on the rocks the next."

I also haven't been able to get this out of my head for the past few days:

I finished reading it just over a week ago, I think, but I'm still trying to process everything so I won't be able to write about it just yet. There's so much to say, but I have no idea how to say it. So, yeah... just thinking it through for now. Hopefully my brain won't explode before I get a chance to actually talk about it.

And then, of course, there's this stuff:

I wanna go to New York so badly right now!
Can you believe I've never been to New York City?
I mean, it's getting to be a little ridiculous!

Is it weird that something I once dreaded,
I now consider therapeutic?

Yeah, I know it's still 72 days away,
but I love it so much!

Anyway, that it for the tour... Hope it was somewhat enjoyable... 

Yeah, I should probably get back to the one thing my mind doesn't want to think about, and that's homework. Soooo muuuuch reeading to do this weekend.

Super fun.


...I'll get to it.

Keep it real!

Sunday, October 10, 2010

turkey day

So it's Canadian Thanksgiving weekend, eh?

I gotta say, I've been so busy lately I've barely had time to think so there's nothing in particular on my heart right now that I absolutely need to blog about. That being said, I'm so thankful for a break so this Thanksgiving will not go unnoticed - I'm very appreciative of it.

I've already experienced half of the Thanksgiving festivities I'll be privy to this weekend. Earlier today I drove for four hours to Brockville - I'm pretty sure it was Brockville - to have Turkey dinner with some of my dad's side of the family. Not everyone could make it but it was still pretty fun. I mean, it took a while to get interesting... for a while I thought the topic of conversation would stay on farming restrictions forever, but after about forty minutes we discovered something else to talk about (something I was eternally thankful for)! The greatest part though was getting to hang out with my immediate family. Two of my siblings don't live at home anymore and I'm usually only home to sleep or do laundry so it was good to all be in the same room for more than five minutes.

Tomorrow I'll be hitting up Courtice, Ontario to see the other side of the family so that should be another adventure.

Thanksgiving's a pretty sweet holiday if you ask me. There's no gift giving or candy hunts, there's just family get-togethers for the sake of getting together with family. And taking a break from the daily grind. I think it's cool that Thanksgiving's managed to stick around even though it's not the most exciting holiday on the planet and you always come out of it remembering once again that yes, your family is nuts.

So whatever your Thanksgivings look like, I hope you get a chance to sit back and relax, eat some delicious meals and enjoy time with family and friends.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Keep it real.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

shine bright, white night!

I'm an aesthete. Or so I've been told. The truth is, I'm usually only an aesthete when I'm feeling lazy. Oscar Wilde is an example of a super hard core aesthete - he thought there didn't need to be any reason at all behind art and it should be loved for no other reason than the fact that it's art. (When you boil it down, the notion is beauty for the sake of beauty.) Sometimes I agree with his stance, other times I really like relating art to life, so I see a practicality in it.

The great thing about nuit blanche is that there is art there for all types of people. Art with a purpose, like exposing issues, and art whose only purpose is to be enjoyed - however that looks.

I went downtown last night with a group of about ten friends just to see what all the fuss was about. I had heard a wide range of opinions about the night, so I wanted to see it for myself. And at first I was not impressed.

Let's begin with the fact that driving into Toronto always causes a little bit of tension, so trying to relax after finally finding a parking space was a little difficult, but we managed. Once the group had re-gathered (we'd travelled in two different cars) we set out on our adventure.

It took longer than I had expected for the evening to turn into a truly artsy one, but it did eventually. It wasn't really until we went to the distillery district that the experience began. We went into galleries, saw some live dancers, took a quick two minute dance class (and failed miserably - all of us), and discussed our various opinions about art with anyone willing to listen. I saw some really interesting stuff.

Disclaimer: the following photos were not taken by me because I, like an idiot, forgot to bring my camera. My friends didn't however. Unfortunately, they're slow to upload them on their computers so I took images from scotiabanknuitblanche.ca. I've only included pictures from the exhibits I actually saw.

Auto Lamp


Endgame (Coulrophobia)


The best part of the night was definitely the bubble wrap part, though. We were strolling along a cobblestone road (within the dist. district) when we heard what sounded like wild yet sparse applause. The five of us (Our numbers had dropped by then) looked up to see an enormous line of people jumping and the mob was growing by the second.

"Is that bubble wrap?" Sharon asked in confusion. That caught everyone's attention, even the people within earshot of our group.

"BUBBLE WRAP!!" We all screamed as we ran towards the mob. I didn't look back, but I could see in my peripheral that I definitely wasn't alone. Tons of people were running with me, screaming about bubble wrap, anxious to get in on the fun.

And then we jumped around on bubble wrap for at least three or four minutes. There was a long, long strip of it, so everyone had a spot. I felt like a three year old again which was great. But what made it even better were all the other adults around me screaming and laughing rambunctiously like three year olds too. I love what something as simple as bubble wrap can awake in a person. That was definitely art.

After examining a few more art exhibits we decided it was time to head home. As luck would have it, just as we turned the corner to begin our 45 minute walk back to the car, the free shuttle bus (which happened to be a double decker bus) arrived at its stop by the curb so we gratefully jumped on. That was probably the second best moment of the night. You haven't really experienced a bus ride until you've driven through Toronto on the second (roofless) floor of a bus. Toronto's beautiful at night and the bus ride was icing on the cake.

"No great artist ever sees things as they really are. If he did, he would cease to be an artist."
-Oscar Wilde.

All in all, my white night was great fun and so much better than I'd hoped it to be. Every time I get an experience like that under my belt, I feel like my life has become just a little more enriched. It's a good feeling. If you didn't get a chance to go this year, I'd highly recommend trying to make it out next year. (It lasts all night, so you hardly have an excuse!)

Anyway, I have to get back to reading some books for my American Lit class... side bar: Benjamin Franklin was a pretty impressive person - I'm just starting to realize it now with this week's reading material... but that's a subject for another blog entirely... or maybe a thesis for bigger and better educational aspirations... So I'll just leave it alone for now...

Keep it real!

Friday, October 1, 2010

Lars vs. the 'Real' World

I don't quite know how to start this one... I guess I'll start with the planting of the seed (of thought) - pardon the pun, though you don't even know it's a pun yet...

Today a co-worker of mine walked into the lunchroom and announced that a friend of hers was pregnant... and that that was a bad thing. In practically the same breath she said that she really hoped her friend 'wouldn't go through with it.' Another co-worker, in an attempt to keep up the flow of conversation since I was too busy being dumbfounded, asked how far along in the pregnancy the friend was to which my co-worker responded: "Two months, so she still has time to decide."

Again, all I could do was pick my jaw up off the floor. My co-worker was shattering my world and she didn't even know it. I couldn't believe she didn't realize the implications of what she was saying. I wanted to jump up and scream, "You know that's murder, don't you?!" But I thought that approach might be a little... offensive.

Still, the thought kept running through my mind as she continued babbling about it - how can someone not see what an abortion really is? Do people honestly think a child within the womb isn't human? It boggles the mind!

I did a little research just to see what a baby at two months gestation looks, feels, acts like - how far along they are, etc. This is what I found out (courtesy of birthingnaturally.net):

In this second month of life, your baby continues to develop internal organs and other major structures of the body. By the end of the eighth week, all the organs are present. There is also continued growth and development of the brain and spinal column.
The arms and legs begin as small buds off the body, and during this second month they begin to lengthen. At the end of the arms and legs, tiny finger and toe buds begin to form. Even at this early stage, your baby already has individual fingerprints.
Your baby's eyes and ears are beginning to form, although he will not be able to see or hear until later. If you could see into his gums you would find that tooth buds are beginning to appear.
At the end of the eighth week your baby will be around 1 inch long and weigh 0.1 oz.

That's what gets vaccuumed out of your body when you decide to abort.

"Two months. So she still has time to decide."

My co-worker never actually said the word 'abortion' during any part of the discussion. Later she was calling clinics to see who could 'help' her friend the fastest and I heard her refer to it as 'terminate the pregnancy.' We still dance around it because I think everyone knows deep down how repulsive an idea it is.

And this is when all the people who are 'pro-choice' want to start screaming right back at me. But guys - it's been up to the mother all along. If they don't want a baby, if this "isn't the right time" for them - maybe they should consider the choice they have in how often they choose to bang their boyfriend and which contraceptives will work best. There are always exceptions - people bring up the rape idea often - but a. that's an exception, and b. I can honestly say - and this'll sound drastic, but it's true: If it were me in that situation, I would still see a baby for what it is - a baby, a new life, someone who deserves to walk this earth just as much as I do.

How selfish a society are we living in when murder is condoned for the mere sake of convenience?

And I'm not saying that people who get pregnant 'by accident' (like he tripped and she fell) should necessarily keep their babies if they honestly can't deal with the responsibility at that stage in their life, but seriously - why do people automatically think of abortion in those scenarios? Why can't people think of adoption? Yes - you'll carry a baby inside you for nine months, but then you can bring a miracle into the world and enrich so many people's lives just with one child. I mean, you did the deed - what makes you think you shouldn't have to honor the consequences?

Clearly I could say a lot more on the subject, but I should probably stop ranting.

I will say one more thing. And that is that I know I'm not speaking from experience here. I realize that. I've never had to deal with a pregnancy scare or a legit pregnancy. I do have a little brother though, which wouldn't have been the case if my mom had succumb to this type of thinking. She got pregnant with him a little later on in life and a doctor actually encouraged her to think about a test she could have done on the fetus to see if it was properly developed, healthy. The test would be risky and might even kill the fetus - not to mention the fact that if the fetus wasn't healthy, if it was mentally handicapped in some way, abortion would be encouraged to an even stronger degree. But my mom refused because she understood how valuable life is - even when the kid might look like an alien (my brother at two months gestation) or act like one (my brother at sixteen years old). He entered the world as healthy as a horse, by the way - and he's definitely the smartest kid in our family.

So, now that I've tackled the heaviest and most controversial topic I'll probably ever address on this blog... I'll leave you to the rest of your day.

Keep it real.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

stop and smell the roses

I went for a run this morning which is usually something I look forward to. I never thought I'd like running as much as I do now. But this morning it was different.

This morning I was dragging my feet. I almost felt like I do sometimes in dreams - you know those dreams when you find yourself running but it's like your running against the wind or through sinking sand, you can't seem to run fast enough and it drives you crazy - well that's how it felt and today I wasn't dreaming. The frustration was there though - just like when I'm dreaming the scenario.

I found myself barely even jogging, never mind running. I would try to speed up but it was no use, I'd run for a few seconds but return to my excrutiatingly slow jog after only a few paces.

I was trying to push myself - push my body - to do it but my body was telling me it just couldn't.

I think more than just my feet are dragging these days. I think maybe someone might be trying to tell me something...

I'm sleepy all the time and feeling lazier than I've felt in a while. In class, I can't process information fast enough to actually participate in discussions. At work I count down the seconds until I get to leave, trying to maintain my sanity all the while.

On top of reading all my school books (which I'm actually staying on top of for the time being), I'm trying to make it to the gym at least three times a week, finish editing/rewriting my novel so I can finally get it to a publisher, continue with archery, do family things here and there and teach myself guitar in any spare moments I have left.

I think I may be trying to do too much. And if that's what it is, I think it's starting to have a negative effect on me. But I can't imagine dropping any of the 'activities' currently taking over my life. My impatience is probably to blame for that. Or my weird paranoia that life could end at any time... I might be too aware of how short life on earth is. I don't leave anything for 'later' because I'm afraid 'later' will never get the chance to get here.

Is that my innate worry scratching at my subconscience again?

I really need to practice relaxing. I keep moving, always doing something. Maybe I just need to stop and breathe for a while... forget about worrying - maybe for just a few hours... see what that does...?

I know I'm not alone in this. I'm pretty sure everyone struggles with the busy-ness of life. But maybe it's time to get out of the whirlwind and take some time to just stop and smell the roses. Just relax and realize how incredible life is just by itself. It doesn't need to be jam packed full of stuff in order for it to be enjoyed.

Maybe I'll try slowing things down a little. I guess even though today is all I have, I'll have to have faith that God'll grant me tomorrow. Maybe that's what living in faith is supposed to look like.

So tonight when I get home from school I will let myself go to sleep at a decent hour. Whatever I don't get a chance to do today, I'll hope to accomplish tomorrow. Not knowing whether or not God will give me tomorrow - I think that's what makes each new day really feel like a gift from Him.

Keep it real!

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

kindred spirits

I had to read some poetry for my American Lit class this morning... well, 'had to read' sounds a little harsh. As soon as I read the first few lines, I didn't need anymore incentive than the poem itself. Pretty much everything this lady spouts out sounds like something I could've written. Granted, she does it a lot more eloquently than I ever could, but that's beside the point.

Anne Bradstreet was born in 1612 in England, I believe. She was married at sixteen and moved to "The New World' at eighteen. I was born in 1988 in Toronto. I've lived here my entire life and haven't found it necessary as of yet to find a husband. Obviously our lives differ completely. I was expecting to read something I wouldn't be able to relate to at all. Instead I found myself reading this passage:

I am obnoxious to each carping tongue
Who says my hand a needle better fits,
A poet's pen all scorn I should thus wrong,
For such despite they cast on female wits:
If what I do prove well, it won't advance,
They'll say it's stol'n, or else it was by chance.

So good!

And, by the by, you may argue that we've come a long way since she wrote this (as far as women's rights are concerned... among other things) and I totally agree - we have. Still, you may not realize how many strange looks I get when I try to break the stereotypes we still accept in this day and age.

Anywho, I need to get to class so I can share my opinions with more people and then get critiqued on them. Yay!

Keep it real!

Friday, September 17, 2010


Hey, just thought I'd say something to give hope to those who sometimes lack willpower...

You know how in my last post I said I wouldn't spend money on anything, especially movies, for one month? Well, today I was holding Dexter Season 4 in my hands and it was only twenty-five dollars and I put it down and walked away.

That is huge for me.

I still can't fully believe that I did it. I feel more than a small twinge of regret, but I knew I wouldn't be able to live with myself if it only took four days for me to break a resolution.

So, yeah. I wanted to share that insignificant moment (insignificant to the world, not to me) with you all and maybe next time you're feeling like giving in ... to anything, I guess... you can think of that moment. I mean, if I can do it with my favorite tv show at such an amazing price - I think you can summon up a little willpower too.

But, dude - I can't wait til my 30 days are up. Today almost killed me... this is going to be harder than I thought. :(

Keep it real!

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Dr. Jekyll - meet Mr. Hyde.

Compulsive Lars has struck again!

I'll tell you what gave her away - it's the new laptop I'm typing on... not to mention the new gym membership in my name at the place just down the road from my house...

Oy vay.

I wish this really was a Jekyll/Hyde situation, but I know I'm totally to blame for my craziness... Hence the overwhelming guilt I feel even as I'm typing on these luxuriously soft keys. I'm not entirely sure I should feel as guilty as I do. I mean, there was a reason to each purchase.

My old laptop has been acting up ever since I got it (it was refurbished, so I never knew it in its younger years) and then yesterday the screen finally gave out. With school starting tomorrow, I knew I couldn't waste much time. Plus, I'm a writer! (or an aspiring one...) I need a faithful computer, don't I?

It felt a little weird to go from busted laptop to brand new one in a matter of hours... I'll admit, I felt a bit like an arse and a lunatic blowing everything out of proportion, but regardless, here I sit... with my new computer...

As far as the gym is concerned - it's all a matter of perspective. My 'old' gym (as of today) was a 20 minute drive away from my house and would probably take about an hour to get to by bus (stinkin' Mississauga transit...). You may know - I don't have a car, so if I wanted to go to the gym, I'd have to borrow the family minivan. That gets irritating. For everyone. So now I'll be going to a gym that I can walk to. No need to depend on Mom and Dad anymore and I'll also be able to get over there everyday (if I really want to) as opposed to the sad two times a week I made it over to my old gym. This was change sparked by: a) my dire need for a little more independence (trying to get places without the family van these days), and b) now that I've made exercise a routine in my life, I'm looking to increase the allotted time I spend doing it.

Having said all that, this morning I made a vow not to buy anything (save for food - when necessary, and transit fare) for at least one month. No new clothes, no bow and arrow (boo), no make-up, definitely no movies - nothing. Until October 12. And even then, I'll be guarding the wallet carefully.

But, hey! I've found myself writing more often and picking up my guitar (and actually learning how to play it for the first time ever) these past few days. Maybe I should stick with those hobbies that don't cost a dime for a little while. They also keep me locked up inside so that could be a good thing for society. The things I do for people. :) I'll come out of hiding when I've gotten a handle on my addiction... well, one of my addictions. I'm still gonna watch youtube into the wee hours of the night, and there's nothing you can do to stop me.

Anyway, I'll get back to doing one of those things and leave you in peace.

Keep it real!

Monday, September 6, 2010


Is it really Labour Day already? And what's with the drastic change in temperature? A couple days ago I went out in shorts and a t-shirt and was met by the threat of frost bite! ...Well, that's how it felt...

But I think I can deal with autumn... if I can wrap my head around the fact that it's already here. It's no summer, but autumn comes with a few fun things to look forward to. For me, at least.

Autumn means I get to wear cute little fall jackets and scarves that don't actually do much besides look interesting; it means getting to watch everything go from green to incredible shades of red, yellow and orange. Leaves litter the streets, which (in my opinion) makes everything look prettier... until it rains and they just become slush and muck. Autumn means my jeans can finally come out to stay for a while. And, of course, it means going back to school which, no matter how dreadful one might think it to be, is always accompanied by a feeling in the pit of the stomach called excitement.

Winter means snowboarding and plenty of hot chocolate; Christmas... and Christmas Break; getting together with long-lost (well, since September when they went off to school) friends and hopefully a few epic snowball fights. Spring is much like fall in that you get to watch nature change before your eyes - and you can don lighter jackets. Summer is hot and fun and, in cases like this past summer, long.

Every season has its pros. I like that. It makes them easier to welcome.

If you're not looking forward to autumn, maybe this'll help:

Soon enough, everywhere you turn it'll look like this. Personally, I find myself growing a little impatient. Now that it's here, I can't wait to enjoy it!

Oh yeah! One last thing Autumn brings: t.i.f.f.

And the excitement is overwhelming. I'm not signed up to see any of the movies yet, but I just got tickets to a taping of The Hour. :) Should be fun.

Anyway - I think it's time for my day to start. I know it'll involve a bike ride at some point, but that's the only plan as of yet. Right now breakfast sounds like an incredible idea. So... bye!

Keep it real.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Remember Me

I just watched a Robert Pattinson movie that FINALLY redeemed him as an actor! I had seriously lost faith in his acting abilities... you may have read one of my earlier (way earlier) posts that discussed How to Be... and by 'discussed' I mean tore to shreds. But Remember Me was a great movie with a full cast of talented people including Robert Pattinson. He was actually bordering on fantastic, I think. So huzzah!!

This is going to sound so lame, but I finished watching the movie over an hour ago now, and I still have a few renegade tears. Good tears, don't get me wrong. The film was incredibly moving, at least for me. But it pulled it off really well. Usually moving films (not moving pictures, so to speak - you know what I mean when I say moving, right? Like, they get you all swelled up and emotional inside... though almost anything can do that for me... still... I'm off topic.) Sorry, I was saying, usually moving films are something I shy away from. I love them, but I can't handle them. 'Cause they hurt too much to watch. Like A Walk to Remember, Finding Neverland... you know, those kinds of movies I can only watch once ever two years or so, if not three or four. But this one was such a great story, I already want to watch it again, despite the tears I know will come with it.

I don't know if you noticed, but I'm trying to tell you how great a movie this is without giving anything away... I'm not sure I'm doing a good job of it. And I know you'll think I'm biased because I think Robert Pattinson is gorgeous, but you need to remember, I was practically calling down curses on him before I watched this movie. Well, actually, I was praying he'd discover the talent I could see somewhere in him that he hadn't used in the Twilight Saga or How to Be. I was definitely impressed by his performance in this film.

Look, all I'm trying to say is give this movie a chance. Not only does it tell a real human story but it reminds us that the seemingly insignificant moments in life can actually be significant to somebody. A Walk to Remember was a moving love story and Finding Neverland was a moving coming of age ish kind of story. Remember Me is just real life. I think that is what makes it so moving.

Just do me a favor and watch it sometime. It wasn't made for screaming teenaged girls (or weird screaming moms), it's just a story that you need to hear. I'll probably own it pretty soon (when it's on the previously viewed shelves at Blockbuster) so you can just borrow it from me.

In other news, my giant crush on Robert Pattinson has returned. Oh joy. I thought this stage of my life was over. Apparently not.

Maybe school will serve as a nice distraction...

Until next time,

Keep it real!

Saturday, August 14, 2010

three little words

There are three words I've been dying to hear and it's getting harder every passing day that I don't hear them.

"Back to school."

Seriously, I never thought I'd say this, but I can't wait for school to start this September. I think it has to do with the fact that: a. I'm taking amazing courses this coming semester and b. Full-time work is slowly killing me inside. Also... yeah, I'm not afraid to say this... I'm in love with learning. Work = mindless, routine activity - day in, day out. School = a clustercuss of brain activity, sometimes... most times... too much brain activity to handle but all I can say to that is Bring It On. (All or Nothing... In it to Win it... sorry, I got carried away, there are just so many movies references there...)

It's only three weeks away! I'll be able to read, write, socialize, sleep whenever I want. My life will be my life again. Sure, I'll have to do things like study and research and write essays on topics I don't actually understand, but at least there's a greater purpose in all of it. Unlike filing - where the only purpose is so that I can find that chart later in order to file it again later...

The fact that I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up (which, I'll have you know, is still far away) just makes me like school all the more. I've got plenty of time to figure out what to do with my life. Right now - fingers crossed for archer in the Olympics ;)

I guess I'll make the most of these last few weeks of working full-time. I mean, the greater purpose to filing is that it's paying for me to go to school, so there is that. Plus, I might be able to buy my own bow soon and practice on moving targets -- I mean, practice in my backyard away from people...

...Tomorrow it's my brother's birthday. Happy Birthday brother!

Keep it real!

Saturday, August 7, 2010

food for thought

I have this theory about food. Some of it was inspired by someone else, but I can’t remember who. So, I apologize, Someone Else, if you don’t appreciate me talking about your theories as if they were my own – but you changed my life. I just wish I could remember your name…

Here’s the theory: We live in a society that revolves too much around eating. We eat when we’re bored, we eat when we’re sad, we eat when we’re celebrating (anyone up for some birthday cake?), we eat when we’re watching movies (imagine going to the movie theatre and not chowing down a bag of popcorn with your mates!)… And then, of course, there’s breakfast, lunch and dinner. Special occasions come with feasts (insert name of holiday here: Christmas/Mother’s Day/Easter Dinner); speaking of Mother’s Day – who hasn’t made their mom a delicious buffet known as Breakfast in Bed? On Valentine’s Day we give people boxes of chocolate; “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach;” flick on the T.V. and chances are pretty high you’ll see a hamburger smiling back at you.

Why do I bring all this up? Well I was in the middle of doing my laundry when I got bored. It took all my effort to keep my feet (and stomach) from taking me to the kitchen. I’m not actually hungry. I could probably use a glass of fruit juice, but that’s about it.

I’ve shared my theory with you, but I’m not sure what else I’m supposed to do with it. Am I crazy and just over analyzing everything, or is it society that’s crazy? I’d really love it if you said ‘society’. It could be a little bit of both though. Do we really need to eat something while sitting in a dark theatre with our eyes glued to a screen? I’m gonna go with no on that one.

It gets worse when you think about all the other societies and civilizations through history. With all the draughts and famines, people dying of starvation, or getting diseases from the horrible state their food was in. Drinking alcohol because it was safer than water… many people probably wouldn’t see that one as that bad… But back then, food was just food; sustenance. Now it’s so much more. Why?

I dunno… it’s just a theory.

I think I’ll go get that glass of fruit juice now. Dinner Time isn’t too far away anymore. It would be awesome if I wasn’t counting down the seconds though…

Geez! I just ate three hours ago. This is ridiculous…

Keep it real!

Friday, August 6, 2010

four books in five days

It took me years to discover this about myself, and now that I know it, I notice it all the time. You know how there's 'O.C.D' - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder? Well I think I have 'O.D'... Obsessive Disorder.

As soon as I explain my reasoning, you'll be undoubtedly sure that I am a crazy lunatic... and have 'O.D'.

I go through these weird 'stages' (that's the only way I can think of describing them) where I'm completely obsessed with something and then I will literally drop it a week later and never need to think about it again. Let me give you some examples.

Dexter - I pulled all nighters for almost a week straight to get caught up when I first discovered it. And yes, I was working full-time at the time. After I got caught up, I never watched them again... for about two years. Just a few weeks ago I went through the Dexter stage again. It's a bit of a rarity for it to happen twice, but Dex is just that good. This time around though, I cut cold turkey right at the beginning of the fourth season. For once the obsession ended before it had run its course.

Heroes - Same deal as Dexter. This is probably not a good thing to admit, but I don't think I left my house for three days straight in order to watch the first couple seasons all the way through. Looking back now, I know Heroes can be entertaining, but would I lock myself indoors to watch them? ...Well, having been clean for about a year now, I can say that I wouldn't. But that first season is tempting me...

Insert celebrity of the week here - Every time I see a new movie, if I like an actor from it, I will go home and watch every single one of their interviews on youtube - often more than once each. Two days later I'll have moved on to someone else and, pardon my french, not give a rat's ass about the last one.

Heck, I even suffered 'O.D' with Twilight. I finished the books in a week (it's not like it was a dense read - it was all "You're perfect Edward - no you're perfect Bella; hey, get away from him! I want to control your every move! - Oh, you're so perfect Edward!") But now I can't stand anything about that stuff. Except I still like looking at the good-looking actors they've cast in the movies. Not that many of them can act.

So. My most recent 'obsession' is L.J. Smith (an author). She wrote the Vampire Diaries which has now gone from book to screen in the form of a hit TV show (don't ask how many hours of sleep I lost watching it, you won't like the answer). But I'm not reading the Vampire Diaries. I read the first few pages and was kinda bored. (That was after I bought the book though, so I guess I'll get my money's worth and read it someday)


No, I'm reading her series called 'Night World'. And, yes, it's very highschool. Whatever. But it's nothing like the 'Twilight Saga' so that's saying something.

Last Christmas I had a short spout of 'O.D' when I went to my local library and borrowed the three middle books of the series (that was all there was available). I later found the entire sales on sale at Costco so I acquired it in hopes of reading it this summer. Summer's half over, but on Monday I finally picked up the first book of the series. (I love holidays - I still don't know the name of whatever it was that gave me a day off work this week, but I love it anyway!)

Five days later, I just finished the seventh book of the series. (I skipped the middle three since I could remember them surprisingly well). Somehow I've managed to go to work for eight hours four times this week, gone to softball and archery and even woken up early to go running everyday... but other than that, all I've done is read. This time around I'm a little iffy as to whether or not my O.D is actually bad for me though. Usually I know it is, but I ignore that feeling anyway. Watching Dexter all day, every day, never helped anyone, including myself. But in this case, I'm reading, right? People encourage that. But it's O.D nonetheless.

Sooooo... I dunno.

I thought I should just get that off my chest. I don't think my O.D is going anywhere and I'm not sure if I want it to. It's really fun while it lasts...

Oh! I forgot one. PB&J sandwiches. One time that was all I ate for, like, two weeks. It was awesome.

Should I be worried?

Why doesn't my house have any peanut butter right now?


Keep it real!

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Bloggity Blog Blog

Great. I haven't blogged in, like, ten years and now that I finally get the chance all I want to do is complain. So I guess I should apologize in advance for this...

I had a bad day. I hate bad days. Who likes them, you ask? My answer - don't be smart with me, I had a bad day.

The thing is, it's all about expectations. I should have known not to go into work with high expectations for my day.

Yesterday I found out I'd only be working a half day today so I planned my day accordingly. I went for a run this morning, but didn't go to the gym 'cause I thought I'd go after work at, like, two in the afternoon. Then I was thinking I'd come home and read some of the newest novel I pulled off my bookshelf (don't mock me - it's called Huntress and it's about vampires and such - and it's so much better than Twilight). Perhaps later in the afternoon I would work on my re-writes and then go hang out with friends. Oh high expectations, how I loathe you.

Here's how my day actually went down. I get to work, feeling great, at ten to nine and while I'm still catching my breath (I run up the stairs to get to work - don't ask why) I'm informed that I won't be doing my job today. No, I'll be the clinical assistant for the day. For four doctors. And I'm told, "don't worry, we'll all pitch in to help so that your usual job and the job you're filling in for are both accomplished." By the time it's almost lunchtime, I already know the rest of my day's gonna suck. Not only did I receive minimal help with my two jobs, but I also had to deal with cranky doctors (they can seriously drive me crazy) and extremely rude patients.

Part of the job of 'clinical assistant' is answering phone calls regarding bloodwork and such. So I get this phone call from a guy and it's transferred to me, so I have no idea what went down before he spoke to me, but by the time I got my turn to speak to him, he was already pissed. He tells me his issue and (in trying to help him out) I ask who his doctor is. To that, he scoffs and says, "what's your name?" I already know he's asking because he thinks I'm new or something. And I say my name. "Which doctor do you work for?" "Well, sir, today I'm working for four. Who is your doctor?" For a brief second he realizes that he's put his foot in his mouth and I actually do know what I'm doing, but it doesn't take him long to forget again. Let's just say, the conversation ended when he'd had enough of me and my explanation that our office honestly can't do anything about missing bloodwork if he doesn't know where he had it done... so he scoffs one last time and asks if he can speak to his doctor directly. I'd already had enough three or four minutes ago, so I transfer him over.

Fun, right?

Anyway, I'm glad that day's over. (It ended at 5:10 by the way; not 1:00 like I had expected). The only silver lining I can see on a day like today is that I come home so ready to just jump into another world completely - which is what I get to do when I write.

So I'm going to go do that now. I know I already apologized once, but I'll do it again, just to be safe. I'm sorry I only blogged complaints... next time I won't... hopefully. I hope it was at least a little entertaining. I mean, even if I couldn't find humour in my day, maybe someone else can... But you'd better not tell me til later. 'Cause if you laugh about it right now, I may have to attack you.

Anyway... hope your day was better than mine :)

Keep it real!